Reflections: Being More Regulated

As we end the first month of 2023, it can be proven that I have been more regulated. This started in 2022 and was made steadfast in 2023. It has taken hard work on parts of me as a human being and a person with my challenges to understand life and how things finally work.

2023 literally started the minute the first minute after midnight and I got some necessary rest. It then took care of my overall body and wellness and accepting things for what they are and that I had to let go of things that were in the past, are just history and are not part of the  here and now. I am realizing that 2023 is a fresh look at things by caring more and taking care of myself more in the best way that I can. 

I have put the medication mayhem behind me with 2023 and have understood the necessity of such along with realizing a concept of time and energy and how I as a human being alone choose to spend it and allowing myself for extra rest when necessary and being under less pressure to meet demand.It is not allowing leeway in knowing that I need to follow through on life’s obligations like work and day program and that those are things that adults that have to do. Just because I am disabled shouldn’t give me an excuse to just lounge around all day because I know that is unhealthy for me, mentally and physically.

It is also accepting the need to be more attentive to my need to lose weight and at least reduce my soda consumption by at least half throughout this month. Additionally, I eliminated regular soda completely after periods of binging on regular sugary soda and other unhealthy foods.. I am understanding the necessity of having water in my food plan and the benefits it provides me. All of these things have made me more regulated and able to be a better person for the most part. While there have been some bumps early on, I know things are better because of the choices I am making and others can see them.

It is realizing that there needs to be work put in this year of being less of a hermit and working on being more out and about despite the anxiety driving fears being there. They are always going to be there and they are something that I will need to better manage as time goes on. As much as I don’t want to resemble things pre-pandemic, I cannot continue to make it an excuse to get out of things that are necessary like family obligations and other things that will deeply improve my mood and validate my sense of this world.

The world is constantly evolving and I cannot continue to put my head in the sand and want to hide away from something because of convenience. I will admit that it can be challenging to leave my safe spaces, but in reality I have been more prone to contracting a virus than I allow myself to believe. 

It is getting back to where I left off this time three years ago before my world started to crash. I am finally in a good spot and I need to accept the world for what it is and not allow fear or any other challenge consume my life. I deserve to be happy for once and I am at a point where I have the freedom to do so. Life is good despite what falsehood I want to make up in my head. I cannot allow my life to be consumed with negativity. It is time to be me for once. Once and for all.

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