This week for my adulting post, I am going to write about grooming an autistic self. For autistics, we can either excel or lack in this regard. Sometimes it is a sensory issue, however if one lacks the willingness to clean one self, then they are pictured as lazy or unwilling to do so.
Being independent has proved to me that there’s times of boredom, loneliness and isolation as many are experiencing right now due to the ongoing pandemic.
Independence. The dream of many autistics. Yes, that is a goal for many as many still live with their family, some by choice, some because they need care that cannot otherwise not be provided without support. But what if you could get support, would you move out on your own. For a moment last year, I wondered if I needed support and this has caught my eye again as I seen a Facebook post of where additional supports are needed in this realm and the inability to keep a home.
Growing up, I have had too many experiences to count about being disapppointed. Back then I was never one to "take it like a man" and accept was handed down to me. It has taken many years of tolerance, acceptance, adaption and accommodation to get where I am today, especially when handling disappointment
Oftentimes, in the modes of social media the journey of autistics. We see their milestones and their downfalls. We also oftentimes want to compare their struggles to our own. We wonder why we are continuing to do the things that we are doing, yet they have since moved on and out of our sight leaving us in the dust. This is when we as autistics and neurotypicals alike must remember that one’s life journey is simply theirs.
While being an autistic can have its talents like being organized and ritual, we have to remember that this being autistic is of spectrum manner and as such not everyone operates in the aforementioned manner. We can run in the polar opposite to points where we do not recognize that things are out of place or see “What is Wrong with the Picture?” that Neurotypicals see.
So, this week partly I have been focusing on self-regulation. This topic has sparked an interest in me because I have been hearing about it from other advocates and their autistics have been doing this. I, being diagnosed over twenty years ago and now learning things on my own am discovering these terms as we go along. I had an epiphany of when and why I need to recognize when to self-regulate on a more constituent basis.
Yesterday, I had an epiphany. While I WANT to adult, I HAVE to put forth the effort to want and need the changes and the responsibilities of being an adult. For the majority of my adulthood, I have shied away from issues in life because they may require me to put my “big boy pants” on and fight them. Oftentimes, for me, anxiety is a big player in the game of adulting that really isn’t a game, because I just revert back to my immature self and refuse to deal with the issues at hand, because I personally know they are going to be unpleasant and scary for me to tackle.
Being independent comes with a great deal of responsibility. Independence is not easy for many autistics, however the earlier you instill independence skills in your autistics, the better. They may not be suited for independence, but at least giving those skills a try is crucial in determining that transition from situations that they will have to leave, should the carer no longer have the voice to advocate for their autistic.
Incorporating new foods into one’s diet may not be the easiest for both the one caring for the autistic person and the autistic person nor the autistic person themselves. We as autistics carry great worry if we will like it or not and we are totally afraid of whether it will make us institute our gag reflexes if we don’t like it.