As we approach Independence Day in the United States and not only be thankful for the freedoms to be an independent country, we also sometimes as autistic individuals are held captive on the routines that we thrive on and cannot many times see completing things other than the ways we have known.
In most cases, when you come of age and become an adult, if you are able in the capacity that you are able, it is expected that you explore the possibility of being employed to some extent. However, my mind many times thinks that I don’t need to do that, even though I know that is not the case.
A few weekends ago, I had the opportunity to re-ignite some of the special interests that I had from many years ago, but somehow slipped away from being independent. As I am now in a good spot mentally and need something to engage my mind as I am having increasingly more space time, I am learning that I am once again picking up on more of my special interests that I had minimally been engaging since being independent.
As I enter summer, the prevalence of more activity is more abund. As the rest of the world seems as things were three summers ago, for my autistic mind, it just isn’t that way.
As I am maturing in life, I am learning that life can’t be all about what I want and that there are others, including those that help me do things that I need to consider their needs and feelings and not be as self-centered on my own personal needs and intentions as that can seem selfish.
With independence comes freedom. It can sometimes spiral out of control. However, you must realize that there are things that you must keep in your life even as you become independent because they are necessary for maintaining daily wellness.
In adulthood, when we finally obtain our independence, we often want more, but sometimes that path to independence could have bumps and as a result we may need to realize that we need to work on some current needs before reaching for more dreams.
Being independent, yet not having total freedom to go the places you truly want to go can be rough to manage. Having to wait and rely on the help or services of others can make you feel like your independence is severed and dependent on whatever is available to you. While I am working on lessening this need, I must not give up while working towards that ultimate goal.
As I continue to work on my overall wellness, I am beginning to realize that I am beginning to develop my own sense of assurance and maturity as far as being more comfortable making decisions on my own and not relying as much on the guidance of those I have sought for so long to base my decision for me. I am also realizing that despite the opinions of others, I am the one that has to be satisfied with making that decision.
Many times, those who do not know my whole life story approach me and say “you are such a positive person.” I acknowledge that but in reality, fighting the ability to remain positive can indeed be very challenging for me.
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