I am accepting and learning that in order to stop feeling so miserable about my life that I need to reframe former behaviors that I once had from happening in my life. It is no one’s fault for those behaviors, it was the fact that I valued them more than they needed to.
They say it takes 21 days to make a new habit stick to one’s routine. When you are autistic and are used to things always being the same and then being uprooted and it being a significant change, it can be difficult to adapt to significant change,
As I continue this journey of independence as an autistic adult, It can be frustrating for me to try my best to be an adult when others that have known me prior to my independence see me as the person of my past and continue to think of me as my past self.
When you move out of someone that takes care of all your needs, many times it requires you as an independent person to become responsible for being able to make sure every need you need to have met is met. Having additional challenges such as autism can make things like being independent realize the importance of following through with the things that you need to be responsible for on your own.
As the weather cools and the height of the pandemic season looms again, I know that I need to get back out into the community and be less of a hermit. Being isolated does not do well for me and it results in decline of the work that I have done in recent years.
As autistics, we are more prone to being vulnerable and as a result can be victimized. We often seek validation from others in the way of being liked and appreciated for the things we do to and for ourselves and others and as a result, being led into vulnerable situations can result in being victimized.
One of the common stereotypes of being autistic is the fact that we do not want a friend or have difficulty in maintaining friendships as we struggle socially. While that may be a factor with some autistics, that is not always the case, there is importance of having and being a friend to those both on the spectrum or neurotypicals, whether or not they have challenges or not, all friendships are valid.
Being autistic, we often seek for others to understand our quirks and how we operate, but does anyone ever ask us how we embrace others with different or more complexing challenges than what we endure or how we navigate the challenges of those that we may not know how to properly accept and be willing to fully cooperate and understand.
Having some time off over the past few weeks provided me some time to self-reflect. As my mind often thinks that it would be in a better place if I remain stagnant in my activity, I also realize the importance of having responsibilities in my life as they provide a purpose for doing things to prevent me from being in a sad state of mental health.
In my life as an autistic person, the (dys)regulation of my emotions can be extremely absurd. In moments for me to be happy I can be angry about them because they free me from what I initially want free of, but at that point I want to be with the only thing that I want to get away from.
Living life as an autistic man finally free of all things that are true issues, I can see and actually feel the light at the end of the battle tunnel. I have been bored most of my adult life. The issue is actually being happy and satisfied with my life as it is and not overthinking about impending gloom and doom as I often have been doing the majority of my life.
Throughout life, I have been taught not to counteract things that I may not agree with. In the self-advocacy movement, the view can always be conflicted with arguing or complaining to get what you want like a spoiled little brat. As I continue to grow older in life, I am learning that unless there is a significant need to speak up, which I can cautiously do, then it is best to be a good sport and go with what is moving forth.
In my over 4 year journey of independence as an autistic adult, one of my constant struggles is the fact that I struggle with going to bed. This is further enhanced with the belief that because a medication helps me sleep, that it is what puts me into a trance. This is something that was taken literally by me for the longest time and am now turning a corner for the better.
In last week’s adulting blog, I shared my experience when accepting a change to one’s routine. However in this day in age, I for one am learning that I need to be flexible by being open to changes in my routine.
For many autistics, being able to accept changes can be difficult for some to tolerate. Many may react in a negative manner or they may obsess over it and try to come up with other scenarios of why it doesn’t need to change or have a solution that meets their needs. However, it must be understood that change sometimes has to be accepted even though it may be difficult.
As this post is published on a holiday such as Labor Day (in the US), I would like to share a little more on how I have recently discovered that I recently met my terms with Autistic Burnout and that I accepted the need to better take care of myself.
Being an autistic adult and knowing that after you try something and realizing that you are not ready to make that change on a consistent basis is something that can be hard to digest. It makes you feel guilty because you are being selfish, but then seeing all the things that happened over the past few years and even in the past few weeks makes me realize that it is Ok to accept that everything doesn’t go exactly to plan or fall back into place.
In the past week, I have been experiencing challenging thoughts. Not only are they in my headspace, but I also, when in private, script them. This can set the tone for the outlook that I have on my life and as such can bring down my self-esteem greatly.
The past week has been a better week for me , but to get through it required practicing radical acceptance in order to not back down into my immature behaviors that I have done previously. This skill can be a challenge to adult and face the music of the things that we don’t want to do.
So, this past week as I navigate the world, I am beginning to realize that I may have different preferences than those close to me and I am realizing that I have the right to have the choices that I have to do the things in life that I want as long as they do not cause an hindrance to anyone. As such, I realize how much my thinking has been skewed by the way I thought I had to follow the choices of those close to me.