In continuing this week’s blog of Independence-Dependence, I had several examples of why it is important to be thankful for the ability to live independently and have a place to call home. After losing my first home, I now realize how close I was to losing the opportunity of ever being independent for a long time.
As I have had some time to ponder my own thoughts recently, I began to realize how much I have matured socially over the years and how people realize that I can actually be someone who can carry a conversation for a long time and my ability to mask as a neurotypical when necessary.
As human beings we are often creatures of habit. We cannot often see beyond what we know. Change is often reluctant, being autistic further hinders it. But what if there is a chance to grow and change for the better. We have to sometimes have to lessen our dependence on the things that hold us together because we know it works, there’s a time we have to look beyond what works.
Keeping on track with yesterday’s blog of accepting Reality, what often follows up is a cause to react when confronted of our realities that we immediately defend ourselves with why we do things the way we do or the picture we paint of what we want others to believe is the truth, but we are only kicking the truth further down the road and not accepting that we need to work on ourselves.
Following up with yesterday’s blog where I learned that we must be in a dynamic at times that we may not want to be in. We must also understand that we cannot be in a rush to get where we want to go either. Whatever place we are in our lives, we must take advantage of what it has to offer and while at times it may seem challenging or we may want to regress to something unhealthy, we must persevere in the present moment while using the tools in our toolbox.
In recent years, there has been much divide between self-advocates and family members of autistics about the advocating for all autistics. Sometimes when either side is advocating for things that they are passionate about, it must be understood that it is their experience and that everyone experiences things differently as autism is indeed a spectrum disorder.
As part of experience, a recent journey of self-discovery and acceptance has made me realize the fact that I can only have the physical and mental capability to only withstand so much. I have begun to accept the fact that at times we cannot do what we intend or want to do and while being independent comes with a sense of responsibility, we must learn to properly balance our lives in order to maintain optimum wellness both mentally and physically.
Over the past weekend, we had some nice weather enter Western Pennsylvania and as a result I had the opportunity to get back out of the house. The last time I sort of got to enjoy that was exactly two year ago when things began to hit the breaking point for me. After two years of some sort of a journey of discovery and rebirth, I have become a much better person and seem to be at the point that I honestly need to be at.