This week has been a relaxing week and I am ever thankful for it. I am off work again for a little reprieve for a while due to how my schedule and the holiday observances occur. I only had to miss one day of work to have two weeks off, which was nice. But in the course of this week, one of my mental health workers asked me why continue to be involved in my day program and work?
As this is the last Wellness Wednesday blog post for 2021, I like to recap the year and be thankful for the year that was given to me and set plans for the year ahead. 2021 has shown me that if I put forth the energy, things can be done. I can do it if I set my mind to do it. While I lost that kindred spirit in the second half of 2021, I am hoping to get it back in 2022.
For almost two years I have lived in a continual state of fear of doing things outside of my safe space. I have taken each and every precaution that was made available to me. I believed the words of our government leaders. And while I do believe there is some merit to the information that is being delivered to us, I have to live a little and start 2022 by not living in total fear of the COVID-19 Pandemic.
This Christmas has been one of the better Christmases for me. It made me feel better that there are people out there that actually care about me. Yet, in weeks past, I had become too self-centered and accepting that I didn’t make the choice to do my share and be a friend when people reach out to me. You see, to have a friend isn’t just about getting what you want, it is also giving what you have to them too, that is what makes it a true friendship.
Practically and logically speaking the Old Christmas Story is fearful to the autistic person. Throughout my childhood, Christmas has been a challenging time for me for many factors. I am finally happy to say that I am in a good place with the holiday season and can manage the struggles it brings.
Last week was hopefully one of the most important wake up calls in my life. I had to read my weight out loud. It was a number that I neared earlier in 2021. Almost getting back to where I started this journey in 2021 was one of the hardest things I had to acknowledge. What I also had to acknowledge was the fact that I can no longer keep climbing up and focus more on losing.
It is often said that autistics are easily influenced. While that may be the case for many, it is not in all. Sadly, for many autistics, they don’t get to have much of an external feel of what is outside of their safe space. I also know of many autistics because of where they lie within the spectrum are unable to do so.
As autistics, sometimes we hear things that we don’t care to hear like being told to do things we don’t want to do. For many years I would become a spoiled little brat and act out because these things were not the way that I wanted them to be. I had to learn that part of adulting is learning to accept the unpleasant and being able to tolerate those elements by using coping skills to manage their unpleasantness.
As I am writing this blog post, I am doing so on my scheduled mental health day. What I once thought was something silly, then when I originally scheduled one almost two years ago that turned tragic finally after a very long time has come to fruition. With the ability to understand that things that are part of my normally scheduled routine are on what I think is a schedule, I am learning that they can wait on a day like today.
Wellness. Such a thick word. We need it more than ever, even though the days are shorter, the weather and COVID-19 is raging more than it ever has. However, I realized some things within the past few days that I need to work on to not only end the year on a good note, but start 2022 fresh.