Autism is a struggle, there is no denial of that. When an autistic person such as myself has to navigate through the motions in a world that isn’t necessarily designed for us, we can be severely affected as a result of many actions that we may not be able to control. However, for me, I had to understand what works and actually put it to use so I can manage the life I must endure.
Recently, I experienced a challenging outing with my mother. In having that experience, I learned from her that we need to cherish the memories we can have while we are still able to have them before we can no longer experience them.
Many times growing up when experiencing life with my parents and seeing their faults or things they would do that I would react in a way that was not the proper way, they would often say “It will happen to you.” While many of those things haven’t happened to me yet, I am still realizing that my parents are not the same as they were when I was younger and they are getting older.
Being independent, yet not having total freedom to go the places you truly want to go can be rough to manage. Having to wait and rely on the help or services of others can make you feel like your independence is severed and dependent on whatever is available to you. While I am working on lessening this need, I must not give up while working towards that ultimate goal.
As I have had some time to ponder my own thoughts recently, I began to realize how much I have matured socially over the years and how people realize that I can actually be someone who can carry a conversation for a long time and my ability to mask as a neurotypical when necessary.
Many times, those who do not know my whole life story approach me and say “you are such a positive person.” I acknowledge that but in reality, fighting the ability to remain positive can indeed be very challenging for me.
Last week near this time, the event, the first ever held by our county behavioral health office in correlation of Autism Awareness Month for our county and as an individual involved in many facets of the behavioral health office was on the committee for the event.
As human beings we are often creatures of habit. We cannot often see beyond what we know. Change is often reluctant, being autistic further hinders it. But what if there is a chance to grow and change for the better. We have to sometimes have to lessen our dependence on the things that hold us together because we know it works, there’s a time we have to look beyond what works.
Sometimes after we grow, we begin to learn. We begin to feel confident about making sound choices and becoming less dependent on relying on others to accept or oblige by our choices. After all, as long as our mentality is stable, we are adults, so we should be able to choose what we want to do without having to rely on the approval of others.
Over the past weeks when being out and about, I have had to learn that regardless what someone ha cause me or what I personally feel about them, I musnt treat them differently because of that, I have to remember that they are just a person as much as I am and it doesn’t cost anything for me to be nice to them.