For some autistics, being independent, having their own place and being able to take care of themselves are the ultimate wishes of many, including the family that cares for them. For the family, if they feel it can be done, they will likely try in earnest to make sure that it can be done in order to make all parties satisfied.
One of the struggles that I have faced continually in my autistic life is that of norms that just don’t come natural to me. For things that are taught growing up to a person that somewhat come natural to them, for many autistic persons, they just don’t become normal for them. More so, when they are reminded by a supporter to do something that should come as normal, this can become frustrating for them and complicates the process.
I am almost 36 years old. I have experienced a lot of issues in my life and now is finally the point when I am content to the point where I feel my life is manageable. I know that I have to keep plugging along by doing the right thing and not veering off course because there is so many other individual’s autistic, neurodiverse and neurotypical that look up to me as a role model.
It is a factor in the autistic community that we are prone to being easily influenced by others mostly because we want that sense of belonging. However, when it becomes to the point when it consumes our life and sucks our energy because we cannot do things in our lives that we ourselves enjoy or just be able to relax.
I have had a more positive outlook on life and less of a negative outlook on my life, although it isn’t perfect I realize that I have to be thankful for all the positive things I have in my life instead of magnifying on the negative aspects, because in reality, the positives outweigh the negatives.
Autism is a spectrum, meaning it has a spectrum of features. One of these is communication. One cannot have the ability to communicate without assistance and likewise individuals such as myself can be very articulate, however we are all classified as being autistic. Although it may not seem as such, I sometimes struggle with communicating socially with the less articulate because I am indeed socially awkward.
Everyone gets angry. Without a doubt. But for autistics, we are prone to eruptions of anger. This is because we have a light switch and we see no “gray areas”. We see it as an “all or nothing” approach where compromise isn’t was easily seen by autistic brains as clearly as it is in the neurotypical brain.
When evening comes, I realize that it is time to take my pills because I consciously look at that clock because that certain hour is nearing and I know it. A lot of times I think “What if I just skip this one time?” I am ashamed to admit that I’ve done it and while I spend the majority of the evening on a manic high because of my inability to sleep. I am often reminded how others see the ways I act in the coming days and then I know that I must medicate.