Life ebbs and flows. For me, my emotions sometimes run the gamut of being high and low. There are times I feel at peace with myself and there are times I think the world is crashing down on me and I think things are the worst they ever could be. All in all, it is muddling through it and knowing that I can never give up is what keeps me going.
Category: Open Topic
The Outside World
As the world is progressing towards accepting the global pandemic of COVID-19 that has been looming over all the world over the past three years, I am starting to realize how much it changed me from doing some of the things that I used to do in life and how much my life has changed since the pandemic,
For the longest time and still at times, I can be unhappy with myself and not love myself for who I am. But as time goes on it is important to love myself and in fact I am starting to do so and as such it has made me a much happier person than I used to be.
When Things Don’t Go My Way!
One common misconception or stereotype when an autistic person exhibits behaviors is that they are having a ‘temper tantrum’ when they do not get the things they want. While this is not always the case and is often confused for a meltdown, when things do not go the way we want them to or when hiccups occur in our daily processes, it can set us back and ultimately result in a tantrum,
The World Does Not Revolve Around Me
Being autistic, the brain can only think in finding comfort in the ways that we seek rigidity or regimented behavior because it is predictable and comes many times without distress or discomfort. It can also be hard to be receptive to other ideas, opinions or changes in the way life happens.
Managing My Feelings
Feelings for me as an autistic person can at times be challenging to manage. My brain is flawed in a sense to continually see the wrong if I am not occupied or in good spirits. It can be easy to continually see and point out the bad, but there are now more times that I see the good.
That was Then, This is Now.
Being through all I have been through in life as an autistic adult, it can be hard to put away the things that were in our past. While they can be used as experiences, they are not elements of my life that I particularly like to continuously dwell in routinely in my life.
Sometimes as autistics we have to recognize that we are only causing our own damage because what we are thinking is in our head. Sometimes we have to be told the truth and while it can hurt, it can sometimes be the best thing we hear because we are thinking it but don’t want to accept it.
Getting Through Life’s Challenges
It can be hard to say that I get through Life’s Challenges quite easily especially in a world that is many times not built to meet my needs. Whatever life throws at me, I somehow conquer it and fight it off and become myself and even better sometimes because of it.
13 Years of Work
Tomorrow, I will celebrate 13 years of being employed at my current employer and while 13 seems like a superstitious number, I am proud of that number as I know I am lucky to be able to reach this milestone.
As a fellow advocate says, life ebbs and flows. Many times when we are at our worst it can be difficult to see the positive in a situation. It can be hard to get out of the loop of negativity sometimes, but with reassurance and constant reminding of why you need to keep going will help you on your way.
Getting Moving About
Being autistic there is a great deal about balancing what you can do versus what you cannot. However, there is a point that you have to realize that it is imperative to get up and get moving about because it is good for not only your physical health, but your mental health as well.
Because of Being Autistic
Growing up, I was always told never to use my challenges as an excuse or rely on others to solve my problems as a “crutch.” However as the evolution of autism has evolved over the years, I am discovering that many of life’s struggles are indeed because of being autistic.
It has been some time since my last meltdown, but I have improved significantly since then. There are many factors that made me realize that I want to avoid having them and that employing the proper coping strategies, defense mechanisms and safeguards will help me achieve that
Not Falling Back
Sometimes as autistic people, we are gullible to believe everything we hear and think something may work for us. In reality, it can be more damaging than you can imagine and the time to bounce back from where you were is a challenge. Three years from hitting rock bottom, I hope I can keep moving forward and less backwards.
As an autistic person, our brains can constantly be in overdrive. It can be constantly brewing thoughts that can sometimes be negative and if they are allowed to spiral and obsess out of control. Having a healthy balance of when to entertain and rest your mind is key in living independently as an autistic person.
Doing What’s Right
Whether we like to hear things or not, it can sometimes be a struggle to accept them for what they are. Having to follow through with things because it is necessary for us to be there or be our best selves can sometimes be hard to see if you don’t feel it, but you must know it's right.
Struggling With Transitions
Recently, I have realized and accepted that much of my moments regarding increased anxiety and anger result from struggling with the fact that I need to prepare myself to transition to something outside of a safe space to something that has the potential to be unpredictable or where I have no control. I have also understood that this is what comes with being autistic.
Doing Better & Moving Forward
As I started the new year, I mutually made the decision to discharge from a mental health service that felt that I am at a point of wellness that it has become more of a struggle to find issues to address.. It is accepting that I am improving my mental health journey and am ready to move towards bigger and better.
When you enter life on your own, having freedom can either be good for you or bite you in the tail. Over the past four years, it spun me into rock bottom and I had to pick up the pieces. It also made me realize that I had to define who I was and how to take care of myself.