Sometimes we need a wake-up call to understand how life is and that you need to stop flirting with disaster and just do what is right for once. That was me a few weeks ago and while it was not one certain thing, these events have made me understand the importance of getting back and doing things that I need to do for myself.
Being an autistic adult in my late-thirties, it can be hard to realize just that. Oftentimes, I want to bring my challenges and concerns to the spotlight and make it all about me in a very immature kind of way as if I deserve to have the negative attention and others, especially those in my close circle deserve the anguish I lash out at them.
Last week, I had mentioned that the week before I switched to a more convenient gym closer to my home. Last week was also my first visit there and just making the first move makes me more inspired to get out and do what is needed to make the changes more constant in my life.
Many times, I disregard the fact that I am a well-liked person and am often seen as an example of someone who faces their challenges. While I do my best, it is important to know that I too am not perfect and have my moments as well.
One of the hardest things when it comes to living my life is having to do things that adults do. While these sometimes may have a more intensive degree of intensity for an autistic person, many times it just takes getting out the door, and getting off to a right start.
Tomorrow, I will celebrate 13 years of being employed at my current employer and while 13 seems like a superstitious number, I am proud of that number as I know I am lucky to be able to reach this milestone.
As a fellow advocate says, life ebbs and flows. Many times when we are at our worst it can be difficult to see the positive in a situation. It can be hard to get out of the loop of negativity sometimes, but with reassurance and constant reminding of why you need to keep going will help you on your way.
Being autistic, you constantly second guess yourself and whether you are doing the right thing. I am always wondering whether or not it was a “good move” to do something or not. But, when it is something that will have a little bit of an effect on you, then there is no harm in doing it.
As an autistic person who spent a great deal of their adulthood living under the same roof as their parents, I was never able to have a sense of who I was without my parents having some involvement, however as I am spending time being independent, I am developing my own identity.
Being autistic there is a great deal about balancing what you can do versus what you cannot. However, there is a point that you have to realize that it is imperative to get up and get moving about because it is good for not only your physical health, but your mental health as well.
Not a word I think of often, but for me, I deeply know that I persevere through life’s challenges.
It is knowing that following through today’s motions and being the best that I can be, I am the better person, not running away from my problems. I know that I will be fine as I go through the motions.
Always with my mind focusing on the need to lose weight on my obese body, I had the opportunity recently to attend a webinar to learn how to organize the food in my kitchen and I realized that I needed to let go of the food that had no use to me in my life.
After working to let go of what was over the past few weeks, I am beginning to learn to accept that I need to be thankful for where I am and that I am in a better place than the past. Although there were benefits to the past, the outcome now outweighs the struggles of the past.
A few weeks ago, while watching TV, I discovered the term deflection. It is a defense mechanism that people use to take the blame off of themselves. When they are deflecting, they are trying to make themselves feel less bad for their wrongdoings. This likely happens due to past experiences of being in trouble for things.
Growing up, I was always told never to use my challenges as an excuse or rely on others to solve my problems as a “crutch.” However as the evolution of autism has evolved over the years, I am discovering that many of life’s struggles are indeed because of being autistic.
As I am learning more about my challenges, I am learning to better manage.
Recently, being more agitated and defensive than normal, it was conveyed to me that I may have been doing something to aid that process. I then looked back and realized that indeed I had been and it has been the culprit many times to me eventually ending up in meltdown or other controversial behaviors.
A few weeks ago in my Reflections blog, I wrote about letting go of the past. And as time moves and others move on with life, it somehow seems that I cannot let the events of my past escape my mind and I continually think because they happened to me then, it is still that way and always will be.
As I am learning more and more what is the culprit of my being autistic, I am learning that things that many neurotypicals consider as “normal tasks” like running errands for example, can be intensified because of being overloaded with excessive stimuli and other environs.
Dustin's Dynasty 