A Journal Entry, Independence, Sleep

Another Year, Turning A Leaf

Living in public housing means that you are likely subject to inspections, at least annually.

Nearing two years living in the current home and seeing how last year’s inspection was conducted along with a list of what needed to be prepped in the copy of the lease along with noted items in the inspection notice, it should be nothing to me.

For me, I struggled and like every year, had to ask my mom to help as I did last year. Then I scripted continually in the course of her five-hour visit. Her being present caused me to catastrophize and overreact to her presence due to years of living in her and my father’s house and having several clashes on cleanliness due to how we “operate”

For the most part, she has not been here since last September when she prepared me for the last inspection and while I have improved myself some since then, I still had some anxiety upon her arrival. I scripted for a few minutes, then all of a sudden when she said that there was nothing to worry about, I stopped scripting.

Again, this year, we spent five hours in one day, but it was a more enjoyable visit where I was able to help her more and have the usual “Mom and Dustin” Moments. I ordered lunch as sort of a gesture for her hard work, The apartment was 10 times better than it was when she was her.

She came the next day to help me organize and offered to clean monthly if I wanted to and other needs given that I keep up with keeping my home cleaned in between visits. Having a better outcome in two days, something that hasn’t happened since I moved in almost two years ago, I agreed to let her more into my home while setting boundaries as she is respecting them more.

I now realize that this and other circumstances that have occurred with my housing situation this week have presented the need for me to be more cognizant of following my wellness regimen, particularly the need to be consistent with my medication to be able to follow my wellness regimen.

As we turn into fall tomorrow night, I too in preparation for the autumn equinox have also turned a leaf for bettering myself and putting the last 4 years Rumspringa of wellness behind me once and for all.

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