Without much ado, many of my followers have withstood me throughout the struggles since literally the writing of my blog with my medication. I am proud to say that with all honesty, I only missed one dose in all of the last prescription box. This is a BIG achievement for me.
Most of my life, I have related the term "go to bed" as some sense of being the "bad child" or that it was time for the "grown-ups"
I’ve taken some time to come to terms with writing this article in a genuine nature to feel truly thankful in my life for the blessings that I have in my life and to be grateful for them.
If you noticed in my feature blog last week, I titled it “Why Can’t I just be happy for Once? It goes without saying that as soon as I wrote that post, I began to feel better about myself and have a whole different outlook on life as a result of seeing life in a different way.
As I get back to where I left off on my journey and finally being happy in the journey as an independent autistic man, I am learning that the things that were the cause of me declining, hitting rock bottom and slowly bouncing back to where I am today had a great deal of what was I allowed my mind to believe.
I am human. I am, not perfect.
I fought the battle...and I won!
Novrmber 13, 2022 - Three years from the day of a what I call a Nice Selfie in 2019, as I and the world was starting to crash.
As an autstic adult, understanding that things happen can be a struggle to forget. My brain wants me to be hard on myself for the things that I am not perfect or not my best at. I am slowly learning to accept things for what they are while knowing my best and moving forward.
In my over 4 year journey of independence as an autistic adult, one of my constant struggles is the fact that I struggle with going to bed. This is further enhanced with the belief that because a medication helps me sleep, that it is what puts me into a trance. This is something that was taken literally by me for the longest time and am now turning a corner for the better.
I now realize that this and other circumstances that have occurred with my housing situation this week have presented the need for me to be more cognizant of following my wellness regimen, particularly the need to be consistent with my medication to be able to follow my wellness regimen.
Being an autistic adult and knowing that after you try something and realizing that you are not ready to make that change on a consistent basis is something that can be hard to digest. It makes you feel guilty because you are being selfish, but then seeing all the things that happened over the past few years and even in the past few weeks makes me realize that it is Ok to accept that everything doesn’t go exactly to plan or fall back into place.
So, this past week as I navigate the world, I am beginning to realize that I may have different preferences than those close to me and I am realizing that I have the right to have the choices that I have to do the things in life that I want as long as they do not cause an hindrance to anyone. As such, I realize how much my thinking has been skewed by the way I thought I had to follow the choices of those close to me.
Last week, I realized that I was not equipped mentally to endure the challenges that I needed to face within a certain environment. It can be hard to take a step back and take care of myself, but recently, I have accepted needing to do so in order to protect myself and others from myself experiencing adverse actions that could affect everyone in the end.
For many years, I thought of meditation as a waste or one of those things for hippies or old people. I was taught grounding and relaxing techniques near when I hit rock bottom over two years ago. I am now realizing the benefits of these things and incorporating them into my daily life and how much better they make me feel in my life and my ability to conquer things.
Sharing my thoughts before settling in for the night and the struggle I have faced for many evenings over the past four years while trying to make it the past.
One of the common issues that autistic individuals face is the ability to sleep. I am no casualty of this and for many years have struggled with the ability to procure a good night’s sleep. However, now as an adult I find it imperative that it is essential to do so in order to function through life.
I come to you on another Wednesday, in a much better state than the last few. It has taken me a while to recoup from what is hopefully the last of an almost four year relapse that I have been experiencing that I had finally had an epiphany a few weeks ago.
With independence comes freedom. It can sometimes spiral out of control. However, you must realize that there are things that you must keep in your life even as you become independent because they are necessary for maintaining daily wellness.
I am at a place now where I am more content and can learn from experience. Compared to even a few months ago when you could see small signs by me masking when I wasn’t doing what I needed to do, there has been an improvement and many of my supporters can see a difference.