Reflections: Back On Track

Over the past weekend, we had some nice weather enter Western Pennsylvania and as a result I had the opportunity to get back out of the house. The last time I sort of got to enjoy that was exactly two year ago when things began to hit the breaking point for me. After two years of some sort of a journey of discovery and rebirth, I have become a much better person and seem to be at the point that I honestly need to be at.

While two years ago was when I began more of a downward spiral, partly due to the pandemic, the effects of not taking proper care or following necessary regimens resulted in the bottom falling out and me having to pick up the pieces and start over. As ironic as it seems, having to be in a several month lockdown because of COVID, made me realize that I needed some sort of support. I knew what worked and what didn’t, what was necessary and what didn’t work art all. I had to learn and accept these things for myself and know that these things were necessary for living the life I wanted.

While I did end up getting started back on my feet some months later just prior to a surge of COVID, I was able to glide through the bare minimum while still on that discovery journey. I had a sense of pure hatred as a result of having to start over in a new home without the need to be grateful for the opportunity that was provided to me. Because of the dynamics I was still experiencing, I was frustrated for the things that my life presented and while they truly weren’t challenges, I saw them as such. I then took it out on those close to me and made them suffer as well. Thankfully a few months ago, I was able to build my boundaries around the dynamics that were imposing challenges around myself that I was expressing to others.

As for my current living situation, as time went on, I began to accept the new ways of how they were. In many ways, while it presented more differences in the things from my first situation, it did however provide more independence and as a result of the first experience having the issues it did, I learned what I needed to know to make this one more livable and manageable for me to upkeep on my end.

With the onset of warmer weather, I am beginning to get back to the point of where I once was with getting out and about pre-COVID. Getting out and being a part of the community I live in is crucial for not only my physical health but my mental health and the ability to express my interests as well. I am getting back to the things that I enjoy and having a part time job gives me the opportunity to be financially able to do so. 

I am excited to see what the remainder of 2022 has in store for me. I am more positive about things in my life than I ever have been. I am surrounded around positive people and seem to be turning many points in my life around more than ever and accepting the things in life while giving the chance to possibly see new opportunities to work on things I have been putting on hold for several years. Slowly but surely, we are getting the Dustin back that everyone seems to know.

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