Being an autistic adult in my late-thirties, it can be hard to realize just that. Oftentimes, I want to bring my challenges and concerns to the spotlight and make it all about me in a very immature kind of way as if I deserve to have the negative attention and others, especially those in my close circle deserve the anguish I lash out at them.
Last week, I had mentioned that the week before I switched to a more convenient gym closer to my home. Last week was also my first visit there and just making the first move makes me more inspired to get out and do what is needed to make the changes more constant in my life.
Many times, I disregard the fact that I am a well-liked person and am often seen as an example of someone who faces their challenges. While I do my best, it is important to know that I too am not perfect and have my moments as well.
One of the hardest things when it comes to living my life is having to do things that adults do. While these sometimes may have a more intensive degree of intensity for an autistic person, many times it just takes getting out the door, and getting off to a right start.
Tomorrow, I will celebrate 13 years of being employed at my current employer and while 13 seems like a superstitious number, I am proud of that number as I know I am lucky to be able to reach this milestone.
As a fellow advocate says, life ebbs and flows. Many times when we are at our worst it can be difficult to see the positive in a situation. It can be hard to get out of the loop of negativity sometimes, but with reassurance and constant reminding of why you need to keep going will help you on your way.
Being autistic, you constantly second guess yourself and whether you are doing the right thing. I am always wondering whether or not it was a “good move” to do something or not. But, when it is something that will have a little bit of an effect on you, then there is no harm in doing it.
As I continue down the road of bettering myself and my journey continues, I am better understanding the value of being more optimistic about what the future can like for me instead of living in the gloom and doom that I have spent a majority of my life in.
As an autistic person who spent a great deal of their adulthood living under the same roof as their parents, I was never able to have a sense of who I was without my parents having some involvement, however as I am spending time being independent, I am developing my own identity.
Not a word I think of often, but for me, I deeply know that I persevere through life’s challenges.
A few weeks ago, while watching TV, I discovered the term deflection. It is a defense mechanism that people use to take the blame off of themselves. When they are deflecting, they are trying to make themselves feel less bad for their wrongdoings. This likely happens due to past experiences of being in trouble for things.
As I am learning more and more what is the culprit of my being autistic, I am learning that things that many neurotypicals consider as “normal tasks” like running errands for example, can be intensified because of being overloaded with excessive stimuli and other environs.
I know I am needed. It is what keeps me going and not giving up.
Today is Valentine’s Day and for me I see very little value to it. While I am not the one to shoot down the fact that there is no love in the world. In fact it can be a very enjoyable thing. As Valentine’s Day is more about romance, as I lately discovered myself, it is something that I just have never seen in myself.
For a majority of my life I have had periods of ruminating thoughts enter my headspace. Like last week’s adulting blog post on Intrusive thoughts, the intrusive thoughts become ruminating thoughts when the “loop” over and over in your headspace non-stop.
I will have to admit for the better part of four years, not being coherent with my medication regimen has wreaked havoc with my mood stability constantly. This in turn makes life for me very volatile and as a result things lack in getting done and eventually the bottom falls out. I am slowly realizing that I need to get on track once and for all to have optimum wellness.
With the new developments in the new year, I have been reflecting deeply on where I was four years ago as the bottom was starting to fall out on my mental wellness. It reminds me that I never want to get to that point again, to try to strive better and advocate for change,
Having the comorbidity of Anxiety alongside being autistic can provide many challenges for me. One of those challenges I constantly battle is intrusive thoughts. These thoughts often pop into my headspace without warning and at times loop very much to the point they bring me down.
In this video, I explain my expereince and recovery in the three years since my last mental health crisis.
As an autistic person, our brains can constantly be in overdrive. It can be constantly brewing thoughts that can sometimes be negative and if they are allowed to spiral and obsess out of control. Having a healthy balance of when to entertain and rest your mind is key in living independently as an autistic person.
Dustin's Dynasty 