In gaining my skills to regroup for the next chapter in my life, I have made the decision to do a blog series on Adulting. The fourth installment I have chosen to write about is being responsible.
Responsibility. It’s a big thing to have especially, especially when you have autism. It can be a lot. But there’s help out there if you want it and it’s great to have. But responsibility is the thing that everybody, not only autistics, but especially every autistic needs to be aware of if they can, and how to properly be responsible.
Responsibility comes in several forms, especially when the ball is in your court so to speak. If you have your own home, or are staying in a home for a few hours alone, You have to be a responsible adult or youth depending on your situation. skill has to be given as to know what to do when search things happen. It could be something as simple as somebody at the door, and electrical outage, or other utility outage. Bad weather and so forth. Being on your own, enhances this because the responsibility most of the time is all in your court. This could mean you have to be responsible for the upkeep of your terms of your lease or other agreement you may have. And you need to be educated because you don’t want something to go wrong as has been proven many times in law enforcement and in the press.
Being responsible it has been shared in this blog in in This series specifically when we talk about waking up or going to sleep those are some big responsibilities. but the other responsibilities are like life skills when growing up so just doing your laundry, or taking a shower, or even getting something simple to eat that you can cook, and then clean up.
Responsibility also means keeping your home tidy if you have one or if you’re staying with someone or with family keeping that space clean as well. because it is your space and you should take care of it and you should have pride if it if you can understand that. For many years I didn’t have any pride in my space and now I’ve regretted it deeply and I’m in the process of rebuilding that space for myself in this current chapter. I have a firm to myself that it is going to be a clean welcoming and safe space that I can enjoy and feel safe in and not be hampered down by others such as my family nagging at me because I didn’t clean it up or I didn’t take responsibility and to do the simple task of laundry cleaning and so forth. This in turn will give me skills for my next chapter.
Skills being taught the autistics today are way different than what they wear when I was growing up. I was very limited in learning what I could grab my hands on opposed to what I could grab on after high school, simply because the knowledge of autism or even Asperger’s for that matter is it was back then wasn’t totally accepted nor was it understood clearly. as was the sensory friendly piece was completely off the charts and nobody related the two. I do have to say I didn’t learn some skills in high school such as facts about the driver’s permit test that I kept with me for 15 years until I needed them and took the test and passed my learner’s permit on my first try. Also I had a beloved teacher who is no longer with us that taught us check writing and I use his skills quite often as well.
It’s never too early to learn as I say, and knowledge is power. You should take advantage of every skill you can learn if you wish if you want to be a desirable and well-liked community member. It has proven me well, there are some things however I wish I would have learned to be responsible but I’m learning them as the internet is progressing.
Back tovresponsibility, you in line are responsible for yourself and how your actions if you can help them as much as you can, are in your court. How you handle them is up to you. Get the skills you need. If you can start early by learning these skills, the better off you will be. I wish I didn’t wait till I was 33 to move out. I wish I had learned more skills and had taken more responsibility when I was a young boy, but my mind was somewhere else. We could have blamed that on not getting a diagnosis until I was 14, but things weren’t really involved in the autism community. Lorna wing had not even got her papers to for me to get aspergers until it was put onto the DSM in 1994. Nonetheless we left we learn and live from our mistakes and I guess that’s what I’m doing now.
Being responsible is learning those skills, hurting in on them and growing and developing them and making them habits. It’s important to make things a habit and I’ve learned that well. through the last four and a half months of what I’ve been through ending my last chapter and starting my new one this month I’m working on getting things better for myself and trying to normalize a routine. It does help that I get to go back to work and I do enjoy it very much better than what I did before, maybe because I’m more managed and more medicated and everything’s working so good. but also in therapy I’m realizing that I need to work on my last piece and that is my relationship with my parents.
And on Father’s Day as I am writing this, I am learning I need to work on my relationship with my parents but that’s my mother and my father. For 35 years I’ve had a very negative taste about my family, in reality they are my number one and number two advocate and I honestly don’t know what I do without them. They have taught me skills and they have tried to teach me skills from a young age, however I just haven’t taken the time to listen or acknowledge them or think it’s senseless. but, now I realize that they are important skills to have and they are what I need to be responsible even after they are gone. I have family and I’m not doubting that one bit, but I do want to be in a responsible adult someday, and not rely on the needs of others. I have so much going for me in the world and it took till this morning for me to realize that, although I’ve been journaling gratitude of things some things are just out of random, well others are basic like a place to stay or having family or friends that really support you. Sometimes we all need some support and that’s okay. but we have to make our own decisions and I need to work on that.
A big piece of that is responsibility, and that is what I’m doing here in this chapter. I am working on being more of a responsible adult so I can grow more into a man and not be referred to as a spoiled little brat that I have been for so many years that it’s pathetic and I don’t like it at all. All in all I know I need to do this and I need to get with all my effort Just as much as I would a work project or some other project I would work on for my own benefit. Family is a good benefit too and it will benefit me as long as I can get along with my family and end on a good note.
All and on closing This past my friends. Learn your best, Don’t take anything as a granted learn from everything you can because one day you will need it. It will help you grow and become somebody very important in life and the skills you will learn will help you be a better person and maybe even you will have children well not for some of us, but for sure it’ll make you a successful person.
Until next week stay well my friends