There have been many times in my life. I have chosen misery instead of a better way to look at things. I often pointed out things that I believed were wrong. I would sometimes be vocal in a negative way about what I felt. I thought things should have been different. But over time, I realized that I have to be the better person. I should not let the misery overwhelm me. I need to choose the high road.

Learning to restrain myself can be hard for me. I find it difficult not to allow things that I want to think without thinking about them wholly. Allowing the way that I feel can cause me to overthink. I ruminate about them to the point that I have my own pity party. This draws my own anxiety and makes me want to avoid what I allow myself to be in fear of. As I grew older, I learned that I have less freedom in how I let myself react. This is a change from the past. There can be real detrimental consequences to my actions. These consequences arise if I do not remind myself of the reality of today’s world. There are indeed repercussions for saying the wrong thing.

Sometimes misery can bring itself on for no reason other than being stressed or triggered by something. It can be hard to understand why I need to be the better person. I should move past the old ways of wanting to be miserable. This includes not bringing others down or putting the blame in someone else’s lap. In reality, it isn’t their fault. It is just because of my brain wanting to relate to having a way to be miserable. In fact, that is not the answer for what I have intended.

It requires learning to move beyond wanting to be miserable over things that are sometimes so small. The autistic brain can magnify them and cause intense fear. It can make me choose to be miserable. Learning to avoid sinking into old ways is a process. I must learn better ways to approach things to find the solutions I need. Sometimes we don’t have all the answers and that is okay too. But we can focus on what is best for ourselves in navigating the stress that surrounds us. We must avoid bringing ourselves down. Additionally, we should prevent dragging others down because of how the world wants us to feel.

It is knowing that with the past, we have to learn to release old habits. We used to handle things differently. We should not let the old automatic responses be the solution to our problems any longer. It is being patient with us. We must give ourselves grace. We slowly grow into the ways that are best for us. This helps us no longer live in the misery we used to wallow in.