The Outside World

As the world is progressing towards accepting the global pandemic of COVID-19 that has been looming over all the world over the past three years, I am starting to realize how much it changed me from doing some of the things that I used to do in life and how much my life has changed since the pandemic,

The world has changed for so many and has set many so back as a result. This is no farther true for the autistic community. While I had other issues that changed my life before the pandemic, I also have become accustomed to doing many things in the way that I have been during the pandemic and as such doing some things that I used to do prior to the pandemic have greatly decreased.

Some things are slowly coming back into my life again. I am finding a place with a higher power and attending church services more often. I am slowly accepting the fact that I do not need to be cooped up in my home or live in fear of being sick or making it as an excuse to get out of things where my presence is requested.

I will admit that I have recognized my mental health needs in the course of that time and have worked to find a better balance. However, there is still a reluctance to do things that I just don’t want to do or that require some effort that I do not want to put into having it done . Additionally, if I may personally feel that something may involve triggering my senses, I greatly want to avoid it without recognizing the fact that others may want my presence. It isn’t like these are tough things to endure and in fact, I have endured tougher things, but using things like COVID or my sensory needs as an excuse when they do not need to be as me having to be an adult and something that I feel that I may not enjoy or want to do.

It seems like I am often selfish when it comes to not wanting to do what others ask of me and I am not happy that I am asked or want to do these things. However, it can be hard to understand that there are others that want our presence and as such are hurt when we do not come to the event. While there is anxiety in not being certain of the said event, I know that sometimes being exposed to new things is good for me and also that it is important to be in the outside world and not cooped up in my own space as it is not good mentally. 

I know that in 2023 as the pandemic from a government standpoint has since closed, I need to be more open to doing things where my presence is requested, even if I may not want to do them. There are things in life that people do not enjoy but must do. It can be hard to just bite the bullet and do what is needed, even if it produces anxiety or it makes us feel uncomfortable for some time. But life would have never been as good as it has been at this juncture of my life if I had not taken a leap of faith and done some things in my life.

It is easy to regress or revert to the ways that are comfortable for us, especially for an autistic person due to new things often producing anxiety for them. But in reality it may open the door to making new things for them or hitting that milestone that is waiting to be accomplished. Sometimes, all you need is to take that one step to open the door to making things great for an autistic person.  Anything in the world is possible if you allow yourself to take a chance towards it