Open Topic

Recognizing Faults

Sometimes as autistics we have to recognize that we are only causing our own damage because what we are thinking is in our head. Sometimes we have to be told the truth and while it can hurt, it can sometimes be the best thing we hear because we are thinking it but don’t want to accept it.

It can be the battles that make us immature in nature or cause conflict with family. It can be the fact that the family dynamic is skewed and therefore your brain is also skewed. However, if you keep repeating the same pattern over and over again and expect a change to happen, it will likely not happen. Sometimes you have to be told the hard truths of what can happen if you continue down a path that you do not need to go down. It can open your eyes even if you know that is the truth, but having someone you look up to or trust say it makes it more real.

It can cause you to make a change for the better. And while you try at times what can be seen as the best, but you make a mistake, it can be easy to go into feeling sorry for yourself. However, you have to recognize that you did it and work at making things better going forward. Some faults have been happening for a long time and can take a long time to repair. 

When we don’t do the right thing to repair what we need to, it can be hard to get out of that pattern because we have been in it for so long. It can seem like a vicious cycle that never ends and it beats us up inside. Sometimes others recognize that we are in this cycle too and want to help. 

At times as an autistic adult, it can be hard to make others aware of when we make a mistake with things because we already feel so bad and that the punishment is going to  feel brutal, likely because of past history, trauma, etc. Nonetheless, if we can trust others that we know are going to be non-judgemental in nature, then help should be sought in an endeavor to break the cycle.

Being autistic, I have always struggled with asking help for something, especially if I feel I am in the wrong. This is because of the family dynamic and other trauma in my life that everything had to go to plan or be the right way, and that it was bad to make a mistake or be wrong. This can be a challenge when learning new things or when set to try something alone for the first time. You constantly second-guess yourself if you are doing the right thing and the moment you know it isn’t right, you worry about being judged, bullied, or called out for what you did wrong or the mistake you made, thus further impeding your ease in asking for help with things in the future.

But, we will never move forward in our endeavor of living our best life, repairing the damage that we have done, etc, if we do not take initiative and make the things right that we have done. Sometimes asking for help can be one of the hardest things we can do, but it can also do things that can help us too and give us the brutal honesty in the manner that we need to hear it so we work on changing the behaviors that we have been practicing for the better. The behaviors will never stop if we do not correct them and make a change to improve them for the better. This means that we have to recognize our faults and do what is right, even if we do not want to, life for us will never get better in the long run.

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