Sometimes, I ask myself, why do I keep on going? Why do I never give up? I often make statements about not doing things in my life because of how I feel at that moment about them, yet I continue to do things because I know that they are the right thing to do.
In a world of social media where I see posts of people “quietly quitting: their employment, it is nothing new to me in my mindset. In a given moment or sudden thought I think flawed thoughts to where I act out of a sense of wanting to be in a sense of comfort, to run away from what I am overthinking at that very moment and just retreat to my safe space. I say this time and again to not only myself, but the majority of those that I say influence me in staying, however, I never act out on those actions.
In reality, it took a really good moment to realize, “what if I never did anything in life?” What if I stayed at home with my parents, never worked on my skills, never got a job, never went to day program, never moved out of their house (it took me until nearly moving out three times before actually following through with it.)
Yes, my parents searched out for some of those things I did as an adult, but I now look back and see the struggles I would have faced if I continued to live the way I think I would have wanted to. I realize that it would have landed in a less desirable outcome than what I am in presently. In fact, if my current living situation would have not have been offered to me in as short order as it was after vacating the first one, things would have had a totally different outcome and the relationships that I have mended with my parents would not be to the degree that they are today if I was not provided the opportunities that I currently have.
I also if it was not through the advice of my service providers amidst my free time during the pandemic for starting to write in my blog and expand to other platforms and delivery methods that I have developed in the course of over the past two years, intertwining all my talents and not so many other talents and skills into what Dustin’s Dynasty is today. I would have never thought that I would have as many followers, while a slow growth in many of the platforms and larger growth in others keeps me fighting the fight and while I know that my platforms cannot be my sole source of entertainment, I know it is part of what makes me get my day started.
It is through my blog along with some other endeavors that makes me see the outside world and know that i am not alone in this world and that there are many people that have similar and uniquely abled challenges just as I do and I do not let being auttistic get in my way, I embrace it and make it and the other things I combat in my life a part of who I am. I do not hide from my issues, I tackle them as they arrive, but I have known even more as time has progressed that live is definitely worth living and that I am now finally in a better spot that I plan to live life to the fullest potential that I can. Some days are harder than others and it can be easy to run from the overreaction that I often face, I just know that I have to take it for what it’s worth and do what is right in order for me to be who I want to be for myself and live the life that I have to be thankful for.