Throughout the years of living on my own, I have always believed that I was on my own. Being unwilling to tell others how I really feel has always been a fear of mine. Other factors of my own self-discovery have complicated it further. They have held me back from just being honest when I needed to be. I was unwilling to literally open the door to my family. My family has been there for me throughout my life, but I have continued to shield them. However, I have started to change the narrative and began to let my family in and do what is right.

I had not cared for myself as needed. There were other unsuccessful issues. These issues caused past conflicts. This kept me in fear of my family. I was not willing to let them into my home or life. I needed to see they were there for me and not to damage me. I have always feared their sage advice and criticism. This fear arises when it comes to doing what really needs to be done. I had been unwilling to see that they had always known what is best for me. I have doubted what they knew about me.

It has been always hard to see that they are there to help and support me through thick and thin. They have helped me at times when they saw I was unwell. They lived through hard times before when I was younger. They only wanted the best for me, just as anyone else has wanted. I had been unwilling to see that in myself. I failed to see they were there to help me and not be hurtful to me. Their brutal honesty sometimes hurt. It was hard to receive. They were only honest because they were scared for my well-being. Even though I couldn’t see that at my worst moment, I eventually realized it. They had known what was best and had even supported me more than my parents did themselves.

I have realized that I need to build a better relationship with my siblings. They will be around longer than my parents. It can also be hard to see that my parents are aging. They are not able to do the things that they used to. Sometimes it is hard to see that they too are there to help and support me. They do this even more than the professionals because they have been there in the throes of my childhood. Even though they have had to rebuild the bonds that had been broken, they are there for me. They support me when they need me more than I can ever imagine.

I know that I need to be more grateful, accepting, and acknowledging of my siblings and their families. I know they are there for me. Even though I had fear in the past, I must let go of the old feelings. I need to let them into my life more.