Recently, If I am honest, I’ve been struggling lately, However, I know for a fact that it is through no fault of my own. I control my emotions, plain and simple. Being on a modified schedule due to COVID is rough, but it is not an excuse. I need to pull myself together, because everything that I have can be pulled away from me because of MY Actions.
Now I know some think that this writing may have nothing to do with COVID, however in fact it does. We (as anybody) does nearly the same things we used to.) I if not many have built up a negligence of taking care of ourselves or instead filling our happiness with things that just numb the pain with food or drink. We hear of people gaining the COVID-19 Pounds, and it has taken me almost six months that it is real my followers and If I do not take care of myself, I for sure will be facing some health issues and that right soon. I don’t know if it was my dad that had his health scare last week that made realize little by little that I need to take my health seriously.
I know I need to eat less and move more, that’s a proven fact of any healthy lifestyle change. It’s just like that post on one of the Facebook Groups yesterday, If I am not motivated to do it, then I’m not going to do it, plain and simple. I need something to motivate me and because I am now realizing that having an issue with my heart is ever so evident and that I need to nip my unhealthy eating habits in the bud before something bad happens to me that I am going to regret.
I’ve had the tools in the toolbox to lose the weight. I’ve tried to lose weight more times than I can count, I just love those sugary drinks and unhealthy food and If I don’t get it, I just get angry and throw a hissy fit. Today, I had the opportunity to go to the convenience store and I was mad that I got to ONLY get an extra-large Fountain Drink AND a gallon of DIET tea, even though I knew that it was from another supplier that I didn’t care for. I always realize that it is not worth the fight with my parents to get into a hassle over something simple as what I am putting in my body. Some would say, including myself that it is none of their business, however have been and continually do it because they care and want me to be around longer for the younger generations.
They have stated this for years and I continually defy their wishes. I know one day it will be too late, yet I act as if I don’t care. I DO CARE and I wish I had the motivation to do what it took. Instead, I complain about my life on a continual basis by being ungrateful and demeaning towards my parents. For example, my father on his first day of driving again took me to the convenience store and the three and half miles there and the three and a half miles back I did nothing but complain about him and his driving, as if I didn’t show gratitude or really give a damn about him, when in reality I do and I just think about myself and screw everyone else. I don’t want to feel that way, I don’t come across that way in the spotlight and behind closed doors I am a complete jerk that realizes what I am doing and then recycle 10 minutes into the nicest man you want to meet. I just don’t get it but something needs to change.
This evening, my mother brought a picture of me from Christmas 2007, and I have to say I was anywhere from 50 to 70 pounds less than what I was and thought I looked good. I would give anything to just have that weight from 2008 when I was let’s say around 270-280 pounds back to myself. I could somewhat fit in regular clothing and shop in the stores at the mall. It wouldn’t happen overnight and I know that It wouldn’t be easy, but I know it needs to happen before something happens to me. I think it would make my attitude so much happier in the end and I would be a brighter person and have a better outlook on life, given the situation of the COVID-19 Pandemic.
This is my revival!