For most of my life, I thought I had to hurry to finish tasks. I was driven by fear of past events. I now understand that it is better to be slow in situations where accuracy matters over quantity and speed. I had to understand the necessity of slowing down. I also needed to learn what actions were required in certain life situations.

In reality, I had to understand the necessity of taking care of my mental health. It gave me the power to control my speed when doing things. It was doing things to me that weren’t in my best interest. Besides that, I had to see how it was affecting me. I also needed to find instances where things were not only hard on me, but for others too. In the same process, I had to understand and accept the truthful feedback. I was at fault for what I did. By not taking the time to slow down, I realized it was costing resources. There was a risk it would recur. I needed to accept the necessity of slowing down in tasks that required it.

I had to accept and know that it did not only hurt me. It made things harder on others. It also neglected to give the accuracy or answers that were needed. I had to understand that certain things needed to be a particular way. This was required for how they were intended to be. It was necessary for me to accept this. Taking care of my mental health made that process a reality. I had also eventually become tired of doing the same old things repeatedly. Others raised the same concerns and fears. This was a part of their experience, although the root cause was unknown. It was something I knew was part of the whole picture that I had to accept. I had fought it for far too long and was tired of battling it literally and physically.

Eventually, I realized that doing things slowly brought more accuracy and quality. It allowed me to understand without errors. I understood there was no rush or fear of running out of time. Past fears of feeling timed or judged were no longer relevant. In the real world, acceptance comes from doing things my way. I make sure tasks are done accurately and properly. This prevents the need for repetition and conserves resources. Doing it right the first time, by taking it slow and correctly, is important.

It can be difficult to hear the hard parts about ourselves. This is especially true when we are autistic or focus only on the good things about ourselves. Nonetheless, the reality is that we can’t improve ourselves if we ignore what we need to tackle. It was never brought up to me until it had to become a reality. I had to do the right things. While that was hard to hear at first, I recognized the many things I had to do to improve myself. By realizing the necessity of slowing down, my life just becomes so much better altogether.