I am closing on what was one of those days.
A day of back and forth.
I fight the internal struggle in my head.
Again and Again.
All the negative thinking
Then realize it’s not true.
I express things mostly internally
A little to those that are close
But they know better.
It’s what my mind is thinking
before grasping reality and
seeing the whole picture.
I described it as being hypersensitive.
Who oftentimes overreacts to things.
Sometimes I get too involved when it is not healthy for me.
I acknowledge this and that is a big step alone.
I know I am making progress, but it’s the stabs.
The stabs that are harsh and abrasive.
The words that cut like a knife.
They cause me to be my best critic and beat myself up all the time,
I am making progress, but it can be hard to see when my brain is programmed to see the bad all the time.
I didn’t get here overnight and it will take some time to repair the past, but
It starts with not entertaining my brain with things that are not true.
It will take time and I need to be more patient and think before expressing my feelings to those in my close circle so they do not get continually burnt out on my negativity.
I know it will get better,
And I need to end the day on a good note.
(Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.)