Accepting the reality of where you are in life and what you need to work on can sting worse than a bee. I know they are unhealthy for me and that they need to be improved, yet I continue down the same path because I don’t want to accept the reality of needing to do something because it is healthier for me.
Sometimes you hear things repeatedly. Maybe you pretend to do things, paint a picture because you fear hearing the harsh truth another time. Having someone call out things we shouldn’t do only inflicts harsh emotions that if not having the ability to control can cause us to counteract by reacting with the same thing or defensive remarks. When things are done, it is only digging the grave of denial deeper and deeper until reality sets in. Once it sets in, it makes you wake up and realize that you need to do something before it is too late to reverse the damage that has been made.
I know what I need to do both mentally and physically. Is it popular? No! Is it easy? No! But I know I need to work on it or things will never get better or only get worse. The COVID-19 Pandemic proved that so much and led to a mental crash and started the climb back up and while I am not totally perfect with things that I had to rebuild and accept, it is a vast improvement. However, my defense when I fall back is to mask the reality of the situation at hand, which I know isn’t right or ideal. ‘
I have multiple tools in all my percival toolboxes for the elements I need to maintain optimal wellness. Sometimes, I like to be the “proud” or “big” boy and admit that what I need to do to stay well in my mind as punishment or childish behavior when it is not that way, it makes me angry and being dismissive of the fact of what I need to do to only have the same undesired result again and again continually defeats the target of being well and showing that I need to seriously address the behaviors that make me deflect from optimal wellness.
I do give myself grace for getting through the rough times, however when they can be easily reminded by simple tasks and not thinking I can just survive or do what I want because it is what I “want” to do or show my independence, it only defeats what has been proven to work and when I want a result to happen and it doesn’t happen or when something is unable to be completed, emotions enrage and I play the blame game for everyone but myself.
I am smart and intelligent and I know that I am in no way perfect. Things happen, but when they can be easily made a routine and can result in overall improvements by doing so, then all skills in the toolbox must be utilized. If they are just taking up space in a bag or binder and not being used to their advantage, then what good are they being used for? I have come a long way in my journey and not taking advantage of the skills I have learned over the years defeats the purpose of having optimal independence.
Reality sometimes hurts and is hard to accept, but maybe we need to hear it. It can be hard to hear and accept and we want to fight what is told to us and live in denial. But not addressing what needs to be addressed will only worsen the situation and make it harder to rebound for the better if prolonged. It may not be what you totally want to do, but usually people who care tell you the stuff you don’t want to hear because they care and want you to be well and here on the planet for a long time or they may have a responsibility to do so. They don’t want to be hurt by your negative reaction. They want to help you and open up or find ways to support you, take advantage of it.