Adulting, Independence

Adulting: Understanding And Growing

Part of maturing and adulting as you become independent is learning when you cannot feed into something because it isn’t beneficial for you to do so. Learning that you have to be the mature one in the situation regardless of how others react to things shows how much I have grown. Also recognizing those changes within myself makes me see where the world can take me.

There are times when going into certain environments during certain times can be challenging for me because of the dynamics that occur during those times. During these times I must understand if it is necessary to be a part of the situation I must learn to keep my composure no matter how others react to something that may be caused as a result of my presence. I must learn that if I am the catalyst of what has occurred, I must not feel bad for the situation that occurred or what it caused others and know that, even after having reassurance that I did the right thing, that I did no wrong and I cannot be responsible for the actions of others, no matter how dramatic they may be. 

Sometimes, it makes me realize that maturing is not the same as being empowered or being better than others experiencing challenges in the same environment, I must understand that everyone is at a different juncture in their journey and mustn’t be shamed, bullied or called out because of their challenges they have when trying to survive in an environment that has multiple individuals that have a wide array of challenges. I never claim to be better than anyone else nor do I know everything. I too have my issues, even though I have worked at being better in other environments and knowing when I need to take care of my needs to better my composure.

Nonetheless, there are times that because I have to be in a certain environment that I may not want to be can generate irrational thoughts that can be ruminating in nature and be hard to divert from if I do not employ the proper coping techniques to do so. I must understand that even though I may have displeasure for something and my involvement cannot be avoided, I must be the example and be the stronger one because I am the one who has the skills and have came so far in my journey and reverting to that spoiled little brat way of thinking does nothing but make me look immature and not be who I can truly be.

Although I may not want to be in a certain environment, I must know that I cannot be discouraged by it or those that are there to help us. I must be able to see the whole picture of where I have come from and all the things that have been done over the years to help me become the man that I am. Regardless of what I feel about the dynamic of an environment, I must understand that there are likely people who value and look up to me for not only what I can bring up to the table, but realize what I have done and how far I have come in my journey.

While I know the dynamic that I am experiencing is not the end destination on my journey, I must take advantage of what it provides for me in the present moment so I can build further on the skills that I need to so I can mature further. Just because I may not agree with someone doesn’t mean that I completely disregard who they are. I must see them from the whole picture and know that I may not understand what they are going through at the present moment and they are only trying their best in that moment to do what is necessary.

I must continue doing what is critical for keeping the stability of my wellness in place so that I do not fall into those moments where I may react differently to situations that are triggering along with recognizing the ability of keeping stability and knowing that I am doing what is necessary even though it is not where I may want to be, it is where I may need to be at the present moment because it is teaching me that I need to learn from what I am experiencing, so I can put the skills to use future situations.

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