Wellness. Such a thick word. We need it more than ever, even though the days are shorter, the weather and COVID-19 is raging more than it ever has. However, I realized some things within the past few days that I need to work on to not only end the year on a good note, but start 2022 fresh.
To keep the ball rolling with where we left off on the blogs for the week with yesterday’s COVID post and how I have sort of fallen off of the wagon of isolating and being lonely, not doing the things that I once did. We have a nice couple of days ahead and I have some scheduled time off so I am planning to get out and do some things (safely) that I once enjoyed. It may not be to the extent that it once was two years ago, but it will get near as it can. I realize that I cannot limit myself to the same places in my neighborhood all winter. I didn’t do it when I lived in the other location and I realize that I cannot let the new location become a barrier to being independent in the way that I once was. The pandemic has gotten us living in fear, for me that worries sometimes excessively, it can be a literal physical barrier to getting the necessary activity I need. The show must go on and whatever happens, happens.
Another thing that happened was at our weight loss support group this week when it was announced that it would be our last gathering this year. The decision was based on the safety of COVID-19 as was last year. I am OK with that and this week after not weighing in for three weeks I lost ¼ of a pound. I used to be critical of that, but you have to see the big picture when you look at it. It made me feel good because if I wasn’t mindful, I could have gained weight, in drastic amounts as I often do. So to have such a long absence from that scale and not gain, but lose just that next marker is something to be proud of. Knowing that we start fresh in 2022 makes me want to get back into trying again. By the weight loss chapter scales in 2021, I lost 9 pounds. While I won’t qualify for any awards, it means alot to me. You see, I have been going to this chapter since the age of 21 since being there up until the end of march this year I gained 89 pounds and while I lost only 9. I am proud of the simple fact that I lost because I know If I didn’t return this past spring after a prolonged absence because of COVID, I fear there could have been a more drastic outcome.
Of drastic outcomes, one of those things that could be but I must be cognizant off because of being autistic, alongside with mental health challenges and being alone is the need to get my physical wellness under grasp before the condition of it worsens. I am at a lucky place right now, but I need to keep going. I know the steps to my home save me by keeping me physically active to get by. However, I know I need to work on taking control of my body and being cognizant of what I am doing to it. I have enough knowledge in my brain to know the difference from what is right versus what is wrong. As a friend once said “God gave us a brain that we need to use.” What spoke to me was when my mother said to me that she was watching the series “My 600 lb. Life” on TV and there was a man who was extremely overweight that lost weight but when his mother left this earth, he gained almost 250 pounds of it back and eventually succumbed to his physical ailments by no longer being around. My mother is my co-regulator and I fear that moment when she is no longer here to be honest. I know I have to get more independent than I am now and it will take adulting to do it, but hopefully I will get there. The one thing I know is that I need to get my health all around under control first and foremost. I have lived too long not caring about it. It isn’t about what I want to look like more than what I need to do to maintain my health. I realize that for the remainder of my life that I will need to take certain medicines to maintain my mental wellbeing. It took me three years to play around and realize that and now that I have accepted the need to do so, I need to work on my physical wellness before it gets out of control and I cannot take care of myself properly.
I know what I need to do to be well and as they say “if it is to be it is up to me” so I have to be the one to initiate the care of my physical wellbeing in concert with my mental and spiritual wellbeing too. Here’s to a good end to the year.