Why do we as Autistics do the things we do? Why are we hyper obsessed on things? Why do we lack regard in certain areas while being hyper critical in others? Yes, we do things differently, but why? This is the question of many around us! Why are we obsessed with the videos that no one else is interested in? Why do we have to have the things we do a certain way? It’s what being autistic is.
Sometimes the other people around us just don’t know how we function or how hyper our brain functions or that we just simply need some “me” time, even more in this pandemic state of the world where our decades old regimented routines have been shaken up with mask wearing and temperature readings and looking at screens. We can’t gather in crowds or do some of the things that we used to do. Some of the things we already didn’t like to do pre-COVID, we as autistics really have to adapt our ways and tolerate how we do it as a result of regulation. We as autistics are all for regulation of things in most senses, its just when that regulation is fluctuated constantly to adapt to the current trends of the national emergency today. It’s a constant battle and we do not like it, and those around us sometimes don’t understand while it may be nothing to them, it’s the whole world to them.
For example, when the grocer came to deliver the groceries the other day, it was not the normal delivery person, my regular one was on family emergency. However, it was done and while there was a error in payment, while he went to remedy it, a million things were going through my head about what could go wrong, in reality it was a quick fix and was fixed at once after I brought it to his attention. This pandemic has gotten people so haywire but 90% if the other parts of the grocery delivery routine went right. It was a lot of worry to me, but it is something no one will ever understand.
Also, when we say we don’t understand things, those that play a role as family members don’t want it to be all about you. We get it, it can’t be all about us, and I personally get it. However, as an autistic person we have to always get things off our chest and sometimes we need someone who gets how we are feeling. Yes, you may be having the worst day of your life or we may not be your focus at that moment. But, you as our parents, close family, supporters, etc. mean a lot to us and we value a great deal of what you have as a opinion in our lives because if you feel it is wrong then we will follow suit thinking the same that it isn’t good for us. This is where we as autistics become naive and fall into especially what supports us.
Ironically, as it may not look on the outside sometimes, while we do things completely different sometimes and we look as if we don’t get it. WE DO GET IT; we just get it in our own unique way and all we ask is to be understood in our complex way of thinking. Behind that look is usually one unique, kind, and grateful person who just wants to be loved for who they are and that they are different not less than other people think they are. Autistics just want to be accepted in to the world that is round, yet we are the square pegs trying to fit in to it. We want the same as everyone us and many of us have climbed to great expectations, such as a lawyer, White House Intern, and even a State Representative (while also identifying as LGBT….big step) Being who you are is all that the general world wants you to be. We are increasingly becoming a world that has slowly become more inclusive in nature (although we have leaps and bounds to go) we must be cognizant of the autism community in the future and remember the trailblazers who first paved the way for us, despite our differences in theory, methods, etc. We have to remember that we are one spectrum of autistics united with a common purpose to be accepted by society and not have culture reversed or watered down so we regress back to the ways we were. We have made great strides and we have far to go, however it all takes with how we as autistics accept ourselves and the criticism of others as a result of us being accepted.