Reflections: Gratitude and Appreciation

Living with the challenges that I live with, it can be hard sometimes to understand that I need to show gratitude and appreciation to the people who go many times step up and do what I need them to aid me in having the life that I desire, often not because they have to, but because they want to see me thrive.

Many times being autistic, I can be selfish thinking of only my needs and not knowing or understanding that there are other parts to things that are not a prerequisite or a requirement for me to have. It can be at times having a sense of  entitlement or understanding that things are just going to happen because I expect them to be there.

In reality, there are those that often extend themselves more than they need to at times and this can go unappreciated or just thought of as something that is expected to happen even though it is something that does not have to happen. It is like we demand or expect those that we think should do things for us because we feel that we need to find our pleasure or having our needs met.Yet, one can go without being grateful or appreciative of their efforts.

It is often as autistic people that we just expect things to happen and when plans change we can be extremely upset because our routine does not go according to plan or the way we think it should go. Yes, autistic people are very regimented and thrive off of routines, however over the years I have become more flexible in an environment that requires us to be that way whether we like it or not.

When something does not go according to plan, we often want to point the finger at those that precipitated the unexpected change because we feel as if they did it to be spiteful or uncaring about our own needs as if we are the only person involved. The reality is oftentimes we do not know all the dynamics behind a given situation and it is not fair of us to pass a quick and uncalculated judgment as an autistic person without taking time to see the reality of the situation at hand.

Sometimes it takes grounding ourselves and realizing that we are safe and that our basic needs are met and even if we do not agree or care for something that is happening because it makes us agitated or unpleasant, we need to see the reality of the situation. At the moment, this can be something that is hard to get a grip of. We often think that we are getting handed the raw end of a deal that is not in our favor and that we are being treated unfairly because something does not go the way that we think it should. 

Nonetheless, I have had to have a reality check and realize that there are people and places that are often above and beyond what is expected of them to make sure that my needs and wishes are met. There are loved ones and allies that want to see me thrive and live my best life possible even though at times it can be hard to see that in them or others. I constantly want to point out the wrong or the unfairness in a situation because my desire at that very moment is not being granted. 

In reality. I need to understand that things do not go to plan and not base my judgment of someone at that very moment. It takes seeing things from the whole picture and understanding that nothing is perfect or can always go according to plan and that I need to be grateful and appreciative for the people and things in my life, even if my thinking is flawed or I do not see it in that manner

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