Open Topic

Balancing Engagement

As a fellow advocate says, life ebbs and flows. Many times when we are at our worst it can be difficult to see the positive in a situation. It can be hard to get out of the loop of negativity sometimes, but with reassurance and constant reminding of why you need to keep going will help you on your way.

In last week’s feature, I explained how there needs to be an importance of getting started with the day and moving about. However, just hours after that article was published, I began to get into the deep loop about things that are beyond my control and while they are not totally that bad of a thing, I continually thought how bad of my life was without taking into regard the positive things in my life.

As such this element extended pretty much throughout the day. I had ideas of doing things such as going to work out or going for a walk, but as time went on, I felt more miserable about myself and just laid in bed resting hour after, when all I did was make a trip to the mailbox and cook dinner for myself. I played a round of self-pity with myself on how I wasted the day and I couldn’t get out of my head how I was punished for being so immature and childish about something I cannot control.

Being autistic, we often want to be in control or eliminate the things that are bothersome to us or make us feel uncomfortable. It can be hard to see beyond our own lens of thinking or a different perspective when it comes to things we think are an issue, but it is simply the brain overreacting and thinking that enduring something or catastrophizing about the million things that COULD happen when in fact they likely will not can spend me spinning if I do not grasp myself.

After you experience these feelings and act out towards others, it can be hard to regroup from what you have experienced. You feel horrific that you acted that way and you are mad at yourself because you essentially wasted your time entertaining your headspace, sleeping and reacting negatively for literally no reason at all. It can be hard to rebound yourself back from where you are after doing all that damage.

However, you must move on from the damage that you have done. After getting the essential rest and doing what is needed, it is imperative to do things that keep you busy in some manner. One thing I find important is to keep a list of things that you can have as a go-to when in these moments. While I am not a 100% adherer to this, I know that I have to be better at referring to this list when I let my head get to that place.

Another thing is the fact that I do not need to continually lay in bed as a way of coping. In some instances I can see it being essential, especially in times of excessive sensory input and overload. However, it is essential not to make it a continuous thing, again making a list of things that you can do during your down periods so that you do not enter the negative headspaces.

Sometimes, things are triggering and can be too much to handle, but with the proper coping skills and defense mechanisms, you can move from the thoughts that are trapped in your headspace and move forward with your life.

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