A Journal Entry

Don’t Shame Because We Can’t Be There

Despite the common belief of autistics, we are further challenged than our neurotypical peers.

As much as many just want us to, sometimes we just can’t do it.

We don’t necessarily boast about needing to have the same access to things as our neurotypical peers.

I know I feel ashamed that I can’t be there.

It makes me feel different in a world that’s not built for me.

It’s not that I am lazy.

I just need help in getting the same things as others in my community.

Because I have to connect to things in other ways or have things delivered to me doesn’t make me lazy or someone that’s less than those that can.

There’s parts of me that want to be there.

While getting there can sometimes be a barrier, whenever you get there you can have its challenges.

The superfluous amounts of people polluting the room with excessive noise that may or may not be able to be controlled.

People who may be unfamiliar or unknown to you and the social pragmatism that has to come with that while attempting to autistically mask and try to fit in a world that’s not made for us.

As an autistic person it can be hard to become used to people. It takes time. Just not anything that can be done spontaneously or on the cuff.

So when we connect in a way that’s different than the way that’s not expected of us, believe it, we really feel bad that we can’t be there with you, but there’s a point in knowing that it’s just best if we are able to either be there in spirit or connect in other ways rather than have a negative outcome for all involved, including the excessive amount of recharging needed from such overload.

Please remember that as you start the week when neurodiverse people just can’t do everything or have to connect in different ways.

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