Today, for what I feel is one of the most genuine times ever, I recognized that I had my fill of irrational thoughts and negativity entering my head space.
I also know that being in the environment that I was in that moment wasn’t doing me any good, no matter how much I thought I needed to be participating in it.
I got up and quietly went into the adjoining computer lab.
I also knew that I would soon have to complete a task there that I was to help someone with. Thankfully, they have a deep history with me and understand that when I say that I need to work on something by myself, they know why and do not ask why., I retrieved what I needed and made my need aware to them and the other necessary party.
Getting into my work with the music playing helps me get into my element where I can focus and today I needed that because if I had not, I would have reacted badly towards anyone in my path that would make me reach my breaking point.
This has taken me years to recognize when something is beyond my ability to manage the diagnoses, past trauma, etc. that I bear. I am adapting better, in my time in my way.
Moment like that come and go, but I am getting better at refocusing my energy to better things thanks to the countless therapy sessions, interventions, etc.
There is more to life than entertaining unhelpful things in my head space. I need to continue to see more positivity and less negativity.
There is so much to live for and going for me in my life, It’s time to let the nonsense go!