Adulting, Dignity & Respect, Independence

Adulting: Maturity Immaturity

When am autistic individual ages there is a great uncertainty as to whether they can be mature. We as human being all have the tendency to play the immaturity card at times and if we have the skills to be mature, it can backfire if we act immature in a setting that we cannot tolerate or get frustrated with.

Teaching maturity within the  autistic mind comes with great responsibility. The responsibility being that they are to maintain that maturity at all times. When we falter and become immature it makes us as the autistic person feel like a huge dunce and want to be sorry It can be hard to look past the situation you are experiencing and your unpleasantness that you are showing, Sometimes it can be hard to apply the filter and mask what you’re feeling at the moment with what is the appropriate answer or expression for that given moment. Many autistics have anger issues that if not muted in some fashion can turn abusive or unforgivable. When we are trying to use whatever coping move that may make us look like a spoiled little brat is intended to protect us from harming those that are working with us. 

In many years after my initial autism diagnosis, I would be so aggressive that many times it would end up in me being restrained, the latter resulting in some post-traumatic behaviors that are still undiagnosed. As time went on this went to only expressing it physically in front of my parents and verbally with others. Now, it is mostly verbal, however sometimes a glimpse of an anger thrust would come out against myself by stomping, thrusting, etc. as an attempt to get the attention of my displeasure to the one who is likely helping me at the time. However, I am not aware that I can sometimes do this in the view of others, thus making me look immature.

I understand the anger of those that are close to me because of my immature actions, however we do not live in a perfect society, where everything is not designed for the autistic mind. Yes, there are things in life that I don’t care for and could complain about. Yes, I need to realize that my actions, silly as they are, do have an impression on those within my eyesight and I have to be cognizant, but to be seen as this is being immature can be settling for someone who takes things literally. It can mean we feel like the heel that we did not intend to be. Usually, for me, when I make those small gestures, it is because I am frustrated with the circumstances that are given to me. No one knows what is going on internally. Am  I up to par? Am I in need of relieving myself? These are all things that need to be considered in the avenue of being out in public. Also what needs to be considered is the fact that one may have become too overstimulated in the course of shopping that all they want to do is go back to their safe space and recharge which can take several hours to do depending upon the intensity of the situation.

Autistics have far too long been considered soft or immature for their age, when in fact we have been through so much in our lives by the time we have become adults, that we have had our share of wising up to do just to survive a world that isn’t built for us. Yes, there are other people in different situations that have matured in a much different way. Many times it is believed that autistics cannot be as mature as their age and while there is some proven theory to that, we have to remember that autism is a spectrum disorder and those who experience its effects come from all walks of life, mamy have comorbidities, etc. All things considered, that doesn’t make us any less of a human being than the peers our age. We in many cases have the same or more feelings as our neurotypical peers and should have the right to do the same things as those at our age level. Even though we are autistic, our age is our age and the understanding must be made in terms the individual can understand that the body is their own and they have rights, maturity is one of those treasured rights that need to be cherished and honored.

If you see a adult out in public having a quirk of a moment or immaturity, don’t mutter and speak to others about it. Don’t stare. If they have help, respect their privacy and let the person helping them do their work. The person having the issue is already embarrassed that they had to resort to lashing out in the manner that they did. By intervening and not being properly educated on how to calm the person down will only amplify the situation.

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