Book Review: Happy, Positive, and Confiedent Sex for Adults on the Autism Spectrum…and beyond! by Michael John Carley

NOTE: I want to disclose that this review is for either Adults on Autism Spectrum as the book intended or for those aiding such individuals in this aspect. For some, this may be too much to digest for their ASD person and that is OK, however I feel it is in good interest that this book is a important tool for this often taboo subject in individuals on the spectrum.

Happy, Positive, and Confident Sex for Adults on the Autism Spectrum? Is that really a thing?

Until this past weekend when I attended a workshop series put forth by the Philly Autism Project and sponsred by the Eagles Autism Foundation, I learned just as I was shyed away from the subject as an autistic man coming of age, so were many other “spectrumfolk” as author Michael John Carley, former first director of the Autism Advocacy Organization GRASP in New York specifies. As was the instance in myself, many neurodivergent folks as many times were driven in fear by educators and family with fears of conveving a child or getting an STI that it wasn’t something brought to the light unless the person was deemed necessary for them,.

Personally, having a folliowing on my platfoms do realize that the thoughts of sex flabbergast many familiy member of the spectrum folk. However, regardless as to whether engages in such activity in lifetime, I persomnally feel that all autistics should be educated. Otherwise they may find out facts about the topic and themselves in ways that may be unpleasurable or unwanted to those that support them. We are all sexual human beihngs and regardless of most characateristics we deserve the rights to become properly educated in what is right and wrong in order to prevent ire with the law or other unfrlendly party.

This book does just that.

The 12-chapter, approximately 430 page book gives a very contextual, concrete and defeniive understanding of many topics of what sexual activity is in these current times we are in in a exuberant, sex-positive text that is calming and understanding to autictics. The book starts with making those wonder if they are shy, confident, anxious or curious followed by asking because of being autistic whether or not their body is different.

After that the book is followed by explaining sexual identity, fantasies, maturbation, pornoraphy. Also explained is the point of being monogamus or non-monogamous. Then recapped is some radnom sexual emotuons and anxities then accomponied with thps oh relaxation and communicatuion.

Following that is several chapters describing sexual activites and the how and why things work. Keep in mind, this book was authored with the intention of educating autistic adults on what is necessary in today’s sexual world. Wheher or not one may ever or never use them is to their own. However, it is better to find this out the discreet way in adulthood than rather be miseducted and have a extemenly traumatic and social awkward experience.

Other sexual issues are brought forth in the following chapters including the use of Toys, BDSM, role playing and unique tastes or what is also know as fetishes. Then discussed is sexual therapy, surrogacy and sex work, Also included is discussuion of sex throught the lifespan through treatment.

The book closes with what the last words in a sexual encounter should be . Appendixes included are a simplifeid way of informed comnsent, how to apply a condom, and reponses on questionnares asked by the author of spectrum folk on their sex life.


The book was a very good read for me. It provided much insight as a autistic man in my thirties who was deprived of sexual education as a teenager that needed to be delivered in a way that I was able to comprehend. Now, two decades later from the ripeness of puberty when my mental state was off the charts. Attending the author’s presentation followed by his panel of autistics of all inclusitives of spectrum and sexual identity and now concluding with the reading of this book has made me less inquisitive of all activites of a sexual nature and context involves.

Rating: 5/5 – Defenetily keeping this in my “library” of tools in my autism journey

About the book:

The Book is available from Neurodiversity Press ( in Paperback ($34) and PDF Copy ($15). While this price is higher than the normal prices on popular sites like Amazon, it is defenitely worth the price, aside from the publisher’s belief of the popualr site. After experiencing just a 45-minute workshop on this very crucial topic (that exceeded its time limit). I personally felt I needed to make the small investment that was no more than a pizza because I was hungry for more information to better educate myself and we can always have pizza, but this informatve book was one-in-a-kind for an un-educated autistic person such as myself.

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