I have been on this earth for a long time. I have been doing some things for a long time as well. It is challenging to recall how often I wanted to give up on them. There was always a reason or another. My brain always wanted to overthink. It made things harder than they needed to be. I had to work to do what I needed to do now. This shows how much I can stick with what I have learned. It has grown on me because I did what it took to learn. I adapted as time went on and made things happen in my way.

Anxiety and autism can work together, creating extra challenges. They make uncomfortable tasks even harder. Significant effort is needed to achieve them. There have been many times when anxiety won over the power that I had to make things happen. I had to find the strength I needed. I had to gain power and ability. I also needed talent to get things done. There were many hard and fighting conversations about giving up because of anxiety. It was at its worst, making me want to run away. I feared something bad would happen. I had to learn that would not be the case. This fear often held me back or made things worse far too often.

When something new comes down the pike for me, I often imagine the worst-case scenario. I sometimes doubt my ability to handle it. I know there are times when I must be brave. I have to step outside of my comfort zone. Deep down, I know I have the power to do what is asked of me. Even if I don’t want to think I can, I get anxious that something really bad is going to happen. The reality is that I had to learn I overthink and imagine the worst things happening. I needed to develop a tough skin. I also had to learn not to let the hurt affect me as badly as it once did.

I had to learn not to be as hurt. I needed to be kind to myself in the process. I also had to understand that things are not going to be perfect. Yet, they are not going to be as bad as my brain wants to think they would be. I often think that the worst thing is going to happen. I fear there will be the worst consequences because of one thing or another. In reality, I am just doing what I need to do to get things done. I have done so much in the past few years to fight through the changes and fears. Even though I thought I wouldn’t achieve the things that happened, now it’s second nature. In some cases, it feels like another family I’ve adapted to. This adaptation allows me to find my way to make things much better for me.

I find patience in myself by being brave. I know that God and I have this under control. I navigate overthinking, fear, anxiety, and catastrophizing. I often experience these feelings. Still, I am working on letting go of being my worst in familiar situations. I do not allow myself to do what I need to do, but I am improving. I know I can do what I need to do to get through hard times.