Wellness Wednesday: When It’s So Hard to Give Up, but you know that You Can’t

This week has been a tough spot in the wellness journey. I had performed exceptionally well over the past week by exercising regularly and trying my best to cook at home with foods that are healthy to eat that I like and limiting sugary beverages, yet within an hour of attending the weekly weigh-in, I sabotage the work I invested in my body by eating junk food all day and drinking tea excessively.

It was a great week, up until the day before weigh in, I met my daily benchmarks. But, that day, it was raining and not fit to go outside. So I didn’t do anything the majority of the day. I did graze around and go back to binge eating cheese out of the bag, something I hadn’t done all week. I knew I was beginning a downward spiral. Regardless, I tried my best to stay out of the kitchen for the remainder of the day, which for the most part I did OK.

Fast forward to the next morning. I performed my weigh in ritual and while it wasn’t what I totally expected, If I could be good until the weigh-in 12 hours later, I would have some type of loss on the scale that evening. So I am ever so cautious throughout the morning and afternoon. Only having limited portions and not drinking anything. Then I come home, I know there is a gallon of Iced Tea in the Fridge and I know it and the leftovers from yesterday are there. So I start with the one piece, and it seems as if I can stop with the one HUGE glass of Diet Iced Tea, which I know will cause me to be heavy at the scale. I then proceed to have another HUGE glass and see the leftovers from the day before that I cooked, so I start off with one piece, shortly, the bag is empty. I know this isn’t going to be good, however the time passes and it is time to go, so I go to get weighed and empty my pockets and get on the scale.

The end result, I gained two pounds in the course of a week.

I am so disappointed. I hold in my feelings until the meeting is over. On the way home, my mother and I had already planned to go to McDonalds to grab dinner. During the course of getting there, I express how discouraged I am about my failure that I just want to give up and I play the blame game how it was because of this and that and in that two mile drive down the street I just think of everything that is wrong in my life and what needs to be improved. So we get takeout from McDonalds, I get dropped off and I eat it.

As I am eating, I realize this is one of many reasons I don’t ever do good with losing weight. In the course of a year I gained 30 pounds which isn’t good, keep in mind in the last 15 I have gained 80 and in the course of the past 20 I have gained 200, partly because of the medicines that I am on. Yes, the medicines I am on cause appetite and weight gain, but I have the control to replace the habit and make it better. When doing so good and at the last minute when the hunger and thirst monsters approach my mind, I need to just stray away and focus on what I need to focus on. There are several things I can to in order to keep my mind occupied.

As realized throughout the good part of the week, I do well when I have small meals in shorter timeframes. I found this to curb my hunger and subdue the feeling of having to go to the kitchen in a grazer mood. I saw the results on the scale and long to get back to that point earlier last week. I know what I need to do in order to get there. I just have to brush the dirt off my shoulders and take this week as a learning curve and be better programmed to avert situations such as these when they come, like next week.

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