Being under further restrictions because of COVID has made me in more of a thinking mode, but having more of a positivity theme rather than the old poor, pitiful, spoiled little brat me. It has made me realize that I have only one life and I can choose to live it positively and act more like an adult or be miserable and have everything do everything for me. I have also learned to take advantage of the family around me that are more of teachers and show me how to do things because they are doing these things for a reason because that will not be around anymore.
Yes, I was gone eight hours yesterday and I didn’t sleep well the night before, I knew the groceries were coming the next day and the kitchen would need to be cleaned. So what did I do, I got started and cleaned the refrigerator. Tossing old food that I know I wouldn’t eat or was out of date and organizing what needed to stay so it is more visible to me so I do know what I need or overbuy. The same with the freezer and pantry. I also need to realize that I need to better plan my meals so that I can not waste food and make my food my worth. I know I get help from the food pantry and other entities when I need it, but as a saying in my weight loss group goes “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. I have been cooking well and haphazardly planning out my meals closer to when the grocery deliveries come in so that I have room in my refrigerator. As such I have reduced the need to order take out as often, only when I can really get a bargain or when I really need another product. It has been way better.
These adulting tasks go beyond food and the kitchen, there is a need to keep the whole habitat clean and tidy. That being said, I am slowly knowing the importance of cleaning up all areas of my home on a daily basis and the need to have a schedule to do so that it does not become overwhelming for me.
I am offered help, its just something in how I am wired that I don’t want to stoop down to that level and when I am judged about my cleanliness, it makes me severely frustrated because those that offer to help are offended that I don’t ask for help when they can see that I need it. This can result in a fight between the parties and make one, such as myself overthinking about doing things the right way because I will face back lash if not.
Honestly, if I evaluate myself, I feel for the most part I am doing well, I am routinely cleaning up the main areas of concentration, although some of the other areas need attention like the mirrors/windows and the bathtub. I do try to keep the other bathroom fixtures clean on a regular basis, I shower regularly and put on clean clothes as needed. I launder things as needed although it is a relearned skill as I own the equipment and it is taking me time to adjust to the settings of them. Regardless, it is getting done and things are on the up more than they are down.
I have not to what I feel am hoarding. It kind of helps with the new location not truly being near anything that I honestly want and I do go online but I assess if I really need to buy something before it is purchased like where I will I put it and what I will do with it, and other relevant things of that nature. I feel I am making excellent progress in this area. I don’t go to thrift stores like I used to and decline on offers to do so when the offer is made. I know it is a trap that I don’t want to get back in to. I know I need clothes and soon I will have to plan to get those things, although I am slowly getting some as I can. I just bought a much-needed new pair of shoes with my Christmas money. It did help as I really didn’t want to spend the money on shoes because I know that can be tertius expense for me. However, it is done.
Looking ahead to 2021, I look ahead first and foremost to hopefully a better world environment where COVID is at least brought under control and we have more freedoms, where I can develop a better routine and be more regimented in cleaning my home on a more frequent basis. I know it is an essential task and I plant to be here for some time, so to do that I know it is necessary to be done. So by starting and doing little things like cleaning up the kitchen before groceries are delivered is one way of setting a routine Now, if we can get the rest of the work set up, we’ll be all set.