What a day, and to hit the deadline for my weekly Concentrating on COVID night to write. Last week, my state government first issued some orders and today, a stay at home advisory has been issued. To complex that major decisions were made for the next few months. One was my day program and how I would spend my Thanksgiving. Both hurt combined with the onset of loneliness and working to mitigate that feeling so I can mitigate the negative self-talk that is absolutely not true that comes forth in my daily bringing.
Let’s set off with the new restrictions. Last week, I was told to report to the day program for a very important meeting as we normally have meetings where decisions are made on Monday afternoons. I guess I would say it wasn’t a surprise that distance attendance would be encouraged, however transportation to work would resume. So I am grateful that I can still go to work, but being encouraged for virtual results in me being home more continual days, thus arching trouble if I do not keep focused on what I need to in order to be well, like take my medicine and care of myself for example.
Earlier this year, I spent nearly three months being home seven days a week as many residents in my state. While the virtual presence of both work and the day program occupied my time, I did have the presence of my parents and I was living in their home in a room that was also their office and on a rollaway bed while figuring out if I was going to be able to return to my last home. As many know I had to let that go, but in hindsight, I think it was for the best, plus I wasn’t totally out of my relapse yet and had to have a serious wakeup call just a month ago to hit reality about taking my medicine.
Reverting back to family, this will be the first time in 35 years and also many for my sister and my parents that we will not be spending the Thanksgiving holiday together. My mother is an essential employee and with advisements handed down today by the state government to restrict gatherings in the home thought it was best that we did not gather this year. We had a conference call and decided that it we could have another gathering when the case counts subdued. No, it won’t be the same, but I will be getting a cooked meal delivered from the local ministry this year as their dinner could not be held in a dine in format. I’ll probably make something in the evening, but I don’t mind. Cooking is one thing that I do not have issues with in this chapter.
Yes, I am all for preventing the communal spread of COVID and I totally get it. I have had persons that it effected. Personally, I don’t want to be prodded with a nasal swab or have the anxiety and then the possibility of a positive result that would require me to be quarantined. That would by far hurt me the worst then the fifty or so persons that would need to be tested as a result of my actions. I’ve harped on it several times I know, but wearing a facial covering is one’s first line of defense in the prevention of being infected with COVID. Following that is proper hygiene and of course the physical distancing. Yes, it irks me when people do not follow these rules, but they were made for a reason and they are proven that they work.
In all honesty, I knew that this would come, but I am glad that I am in my new location. I honestly don’t think I could mentally maintain peace of mind living with my parents. I am by no means saying that I don’t care about them, that is far from the truth I love them. But being separate has made the relationship stronger as a result and me a better person. Although I have my rough moments, which can be expected in a month of so many changes for an autistic person. I personally have to realize that I need to be thankful and grateful for all the blessings that I do have this year and think about those that are less fortunate than me this year. I have so much to be happy about that I don’t need to be sad one bit. I know this week won’t be easy, but I am certain that I will be resilient and overcome it.