Adulting: Having Your Own Space

In gaining my skills to regroup for the next  chapter in my life, I have made the decision to do a blog series on Adulting. The eighth installment is creating your own space for you or an autisic, an esssential element in any autistic’s life.

In my adulting post last week, I was talking about doing those things that you have to do, but you don’t want to do. As by my picture featured image on my post last week where I had just the bed, which that alone was helpful in getting me some kind of space and my parents are letting me borrow their TV that was given to them by a friend. It became difficult to purchase a office desk for my specfications in a store because of everyone teleworking with COVID, so I was able to purchase a desk and have it shipped and it too was dificult to put together and took my parents 10 hours one day to put it together. It’s not great, but its good enough for me to get my stuff done on days that I am home.

Anyway, this weekend I have been putting the pieces together buying the necessary things to make my new space a temporary home until at least the pandemic is over. I am feeling more and more at piece as that I am starting the next chapter. Setting up my computer and not being able to see it for almost six months and because I am working from home had to buy a headset and because My mother is working in the adjoiining bedroom I chose a noise cancelling set which I really like.

From being on the proper medication entering the third week now. My sleep patterns are better and I am more respected and not as verbally aggresive towards others and rekindling old frienships that I left when I was’t myself near the time I was acting out with my parents. I am also being more of myself again and be able to cope and calm and recover from when I have to go to work or day programming. With all this COVID mess, its really needed, especially when I have to wear a mask all day.

It gives us a place for us to be us, no one can bother us unless its really important. We dont bother those that care about us, giving us an opportunity to relax and calm down whatever anxieties or issues we may have. One has to feel safe in it and where they can be calm or be sent to calm down if a situaltion arises between others in the house. like the lyrics from Beach Boys:

There’s a world where I can go and tell my secrets to
In my room, in my room
In this world I lock out all my worries and my fears
In my room, in my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming
Lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing
Laugh at yesterday

Now it’s dark and I’m alone
But I won’t be afraid
In my room, in my room
In my room, in my room
In my room, in my room

“In My Room” By the Beach Boys

Yes, the lyrics may sound cheesy, but my parents are from the 60s and this song still true today as they were to the wild children of the 60s. If we remember right, Beach Boys prodigy Brian Wilson suffered several decades of bipolarism and several mood swings, although his therapy was unconventional, it did work, but that’s another story.

Everyone needs a space to be themself and space to be safe. If those who reside with them cannont respect those boundaries, then they should consider it because it is a key piece in coping for many autistics so they can do what they need to do without bringing attention in a negative way to those around them or enhancing a already bad situation.

Give them their space, You’ll be glad that you did!!

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