I have been taking some sort of medication to cure the symptoms of what would be autism since I was seven. At 34, I now realize the importance of having a good cocktail and being regular with it.
As a child, you do as you are told by your parents or for me there would be serious consequences. Taking my medicine was no different as in my childhood I was on a multitude of medications. However, I have been on the medication regimen I am on today, in part for twenty years now. And for 19 of those years I was pretty regimented unitl a little over a year ago.
I had lived with my parents for a little over 33 years and as such “did as I was told” and did such. Once I moved out, I began to consider as to whether or not I needed medicine.
So I started experimenting mainly because I had to know was the medicine important or a waste as a part of me adulting.
I spent many sleepless nights wondering that, I was in denial. My parents knew, those close to me knew, but they did’nt tell me.
I would lash out a people for no apparent reason, I would be nasty to people, My manias would appear off and on again and again but yet I was in denial.
I thinking I had an over abundance of meds and no clear mind decided to take them to a drop off box at the local police station. Weeks later I told my mom this and she was very disgusted to the point she hung up the phone and would talk to me for a few hours.
Nonetheless, I continued down the slippery slope for a few months, the symptoms became more and more appearant even to my therapist who came to the conclusion that this wasnt working, and on September 12 this year, I began a normal regimen – sort of.
I knew I was getting bad because I stay up all night, go to work and come home and sleep for hours and do it all over again. My superiors at work were worried about my mental health as during that relapse they said I was a little animated and asked if everything was ok. I denied it.
I became manic, and as such I was hypersexual, the mania symptom that no one wants to talk about. When I was visiting my dad when he was in the hospital I called the Hallway ad male organ and other not so nice names. Now looking back as I was trying to find my individuality, I thought I couldn’t have medicine to be me. I have learned that adequate balance is everything.
I now realize that it was stupid as working for a mental health advovacy organization that it wasnt the right thing to do or example to lead. But the trust kept coming back.
The day following that realization, a support at the place I recieve job coaching came to me and noticed the change. I told her I was working on it. Eight days later we went on a outing where I was photo bombed and she said that you couldn’t wipe that smile off my face.
A little over a month after that, I changed my PCP or family doctor and was reecucated about my physical meds and as such I have had everything back in sync for some time now and feel amazing.
It just goes to show you how importatant medicine is and what it can do to keep you well!