Autism and Maturity

This week has been quite the busiest week for individuals on the spectrum far and wide. We’ve seen a brave 16-year old Girl from across the pond strive and come to the states to press the needs for changing the way we think about the planet. We’ve heard of the middle schooler that was given a desk to use in a unutilized school washroom in order to be sensitive and meet “accomodate” his needs. We’ve seen the little six year old placed in handcuffs that would be traumatic for any six year old, let alone one with behavioral challenges the list goes on and on.

I spend time now and then browsing the Facebook Pages news feed to hear about issues concerning individuals through the lifestages and in all across the spectrum. I’ve seen accomplishments, achievements, awards, caregivers at the end of their rope, and so forth. One of several that I thought was good that I will be writing on in the coming days is that of maturity. I saw a 27 year old individual post on a group that they were 27, but knew that they in no way acted as such. For several decades, I believed that because I was living with my family in the time tunnel and could not see the light at the end of it.

Now you are all thinking that I dislike my parents. That is absolutely not true one single bit! When they both were at the end of their rope and wanted could have thrown me to the system, they overvome whatever obstacles necessary for me to get the care possible to become successful, because they saw that potential when no one else did , but too therapies and learning techniquies in autism have jumped leaps and bounds since my adolesence, and I did have a great deal of trauma as a result, but I am working on it slowly. Also, for a decade after becoming an adult and still living with my parents, I had resentment for the care that that they sent me to, and I have known that in the end when my mother wanted to give up because as many know we “hurt the ones that we love the most” lives tried and true, that my parents almost broke up as a result of my behaviors, but in the end, it when it was time me to return to the family, it was my dad who advocated for me to be a part of our family and held the glue and supported my mother throughout the good and bad (By the way, in a few months will be married for 40 years, talking about commitment!, my maternal grandparents were married just over 70, of which they loved me significantly too!)

Anyway, as it often referenced when we are with immediate family, we are often situated with immaturity, and for me to this day is something I continue to struggle with weekly! Even before I moved independently, I acted like a grown adult that was very articulate and matrure, however when I was/am in the surroundings of my parents or in their home, I revert back to the 10 year old brat who wants whatever they want and have to be right, I cannot deny that there are similar family dynamics that play a part and I am not going to get into them, but I will make it known that I am not as vulgar and while I shout because the parents’ voices are raised, and I do react in the same manner, it is usually with kind words and not hateful ones. As I mentioned prior, I love my parents and I know they will suppport me in almost anything that seems possible, probable and likely, however, I know that respect is mutual and giving that is of the utmost importance in a family dynamic!

In closing we can be the activist fighting for climate change or we can be the one in need of brushing up on those skills, but it can be done with the right help, momenntum and willpower for those accomplishments!

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