Definitions and Beyond

There are many ways to identify. Everyone is different and that’s good! But sometimes that is confusing. This guide, “Definitions and Beyond,” will explain some of the ways people identify. Why is this important? Because many parts of being LGBTQ+ are like being a self-advocate with a disability! Part of self-advocacy is being proud of who you are. With this guide, you can be a self-advocate for LGBTQ+ people too. You can help make the world a better place for LGBTQ+ people!

This guide will talk about things like:

1. What being LGBTQ+ is
2. The different ways people can identify and present themselves
3. What different kinds of discrimination against LGBTQ+ people there are
4. What stereotypes are and why they are bad
5. How to find community and support if you feel bad about being different

And more!

Rights & Respect

LGBTQ+ people deserve to be treated with respect, just like everyone else! If you are LGBTQ+, you deserve to be treated with respect by everyone in your life — including the people who support you. That’s why we made a new guide for LGBTQ+ autistic people called Rights and Respect! This guide will help you figure out what to do if you aren’t being respected.

This guide will talk about things like:

• What are my legal rights?
• Why is fighting for rights important?
• What does it look like when a support worker respects me?
• What can I do if my support worker isn’t respecting me?

And more!

It can be hard when someone doesn’t respect you.  Now more than ever, we all need to keep fighting for our rights. We hope you’ll use this toolkit and share it widely so we can speak up and talk about discrimination when it happens. Let’s fight for our right to respect!

LGBTQ+ Identities and Community

• Advice For Someone With A Disability Who Wants To Come Out Or Explore Their Sexuality
  Thomas Caswell is a gay autistic man. He did a project for SARTAC where he made resources for other LGBTQ+ people with disabilities. This is one of those resources. It is advice Thomas has for people with disabilities who want to come out or explore their sexuality.
  Source: Thomas Caswell, Self Advocacy Resource and Technical Assistance Center (SARTAC) fellow
  Web: d3r5ngmnz0b984.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Advice-For-Someone-With-A-Disability-Who-Wants-to-Come-Out-Or-Explore-Their-Sexuality.pdf
• What the Words Mean – A Basic List of LGBTQ Words
  This is a list of words related to being LGBTQ+ and what each of the words mean
  Source: Thomas Caswell, Self Advocacy Resource and Technical Assistance Center (SARTAC) fellow
  Web: d3r5ngmnz0b984.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/What-the-Words-Mean-A-Basic-List-of-LGBTQ-Words-1.pdf
• LGBTQ+ Disability Annotated Bibliography
  This is a big list of resources that Green Mountain Self Advocates put together. Green Mountain Self Advocates is a self-advocacy group in Vermont. Each resource has a paragraph in plain language explaining what the resource is about.
  Source: Green Mountain Self Advocates
  Web: d3r5ngmnz0b984.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Annotated-Bibliography-A-list-of-Resources-on-Disability-and-LGBTQ-Followed-by-a-Short-Description.pdf

Sex and Relationships

• SMarriage and Relationships
  SARTAC is a group that helps out self-advocacy groups. SARTAC puts different resources on their website. This is a page with all of SARTAC’s resources on marriage and relationships.
  Source: Self Advocacy Resource and Technical Assistance Center (SARTAC)
  Web: selfadvocacyinfo.org/resources-about/marriage-and-relationships/
• Sexuality
  SARTAC is a group that helps out self-advocacy groups. SARTAC puts different resources on their website. This is a page with all of SARTAC’s resources on sexuality.
  Source: Self Advocacy Resource and Technical Assistance Center (SARTAC)
  Web: selfadvocacyinfo.org/resources-about/sexuality/
• Sex Talk for Self-Advocates Webinar #6: LGBTQ+ Relationships
  This is a video of a panel on LGBTQ+ relationships. A panel is when people who know a lot about a certain topic get together to talk about it. The panel is part of a series of videos. The series is about sex and sexuality for self-advocates
  Source: Self Advocacy Resource and Technical Assistance Center (SARTAC)
  Web: selfadvocacyinfo.org/resource/sex-talk-for-self-advocates-webinar-6-lgbtq-relationships/
• Sex Ed for People with IDD Plain Language Edition
  The NCIL is a group that advocates for people with disabilities. It is a sex education resource for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. It talks about things like puberty, gender and sexuality, masturbation, dating and relationships, and having sex.
  Source: National Council on Independent Living (NCIL)
  Web: d3r5ngmnz0b984.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/9-30-19-NCIL-Sex-Ed-Easy-Read-Discussion-Guide-.pdf
• Healthy Relationships & Sexuality
  Speak Up Speak Out is a conference for self-advocates. This presentation talks about healthy relationships and sexuality for people with disabilities. It talks about things like gender and sexuality, what a healthy relationship looks like, and what consent is. It has lots of resources in it that you can look up for more information.
  Source: Speak Up Speak Out – Adam Wiser & Tara Ahern
  Web: thearcofil.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/SUSO-2021-Healthy-Relationships-Sexuality.pdf
• A Peer to Peer Guide About Domestic and Sexual Violence
  This is a guide for self-advocates about recognizing and stopping abuse. It is written in plain language. It contains different examples of situations with abuse and how to stop them. Note 1: this guide contains a brief mention of the R-word. Note 2: This guide was written mostly for people in the state of Vermont. The resources in it might not be helpful for people in other states.
  Source: Green Mountain Self Advocates
  Web: selfadvocacyinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/GMSA-A-Peer-to-Peer-Guide-About-DV-and-SV.pdf
• Autism and Safety Toolkit: Safety Tips for Self-Advocates
  This is a guide for self-advocates about safety, recognizing and stopping abuse, making safety plans, and advocating for alternatives to police. It is written in plain language.
  Source: Autistic Self Advocacy Network
  Web: autisticadvocacy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Autism-and-Safety-Pt-2.pdf
• Healthy Relationship Workbook
  This is a workbook that talks about types of relationships, relationship safety, consent, and other topics. It is written in plain language.
  Source: The Arc of Spokane
  Web: arcwhatcom.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Healthy-Relationship-Workbook.pdf
• Self-Advocates Speak Up About Sex
  This is a resource based on a focus group Green Mountain Self Advocates held with self-advocates about sex and sexuality. It talks about what the self-advocates in the focus group said. The group talked about things like how they learned about sex, what they heard about sex while growing up, and what they wish they had learned about sex.
  Source: Elevatus Training
  Web: elevatustraining.com/selfadvocates/
• Real Talk
  Real Talk is a website that has lots of resources about sex education for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. The organization that runs Real Talk sometimes hosts online chats that anyone can attend to ask questions. They also have lots of videos about different sex education topics. Note: Real Talk is run by an organization in Canada. Some of their resources may not be available in the United States.
  Source: Real Talk
  Web: real-talk.orgex and Relationships

Know Your Rights

• Sexual Rights Statement
  This document tells you what your rights around sex, sexuality, and relationships. It tells you about your rights in both formal and plain language.
  Source: Illinois Guardianship and Advocacy Commission (IGAC)
  Web: www2.illinois.gov/sites/gac/Documents/Sexual%20Rights%20Easier%20to%20Read.pdf
• Tips and advice (life hacks!) for autistic trans people about finding and going to doctors
  This is a guide about finding and going to doctors for autistic trans people. It was written by Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network and the National LGBTQ Task Force. The AWN Network advocates for the rights of autistic women and non-binary people. The National LGBTQ Task Force advocates for the rights of all LGBTQ+ people. The guide is written in plain language. It explains things like how to find a doctor, how to tell a doctor you are trans or autistic, how to ask for accommodations, and what to do in case of medical emergencies.
  Source: Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN) and the National LGBTQ Task Force
  Web: awnnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Final-Version-Before-You-Go-Know-Your-Rights-Booklet.pdf

Resources for Support People

• How to Support LGBTQ+ People with I/DD to Come Out
  This resource is meant more for support people, but anyone can read it. It talks about what LGBTQ+ people with intellectual and developmental disabilities want their support people to know. Elevatus training is a group that teaches people how to teach sex education to people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.
  Source: Green Mountain Self Advocates & Elevatus Training
  Web: elevatustraining.com/how-to-support
• Supporting LGBTQ+ People with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities
  This article is by Pauline Bosma, a trans woman with an intellectual disability. Pauline talks about her own life and also how to help LGBTQ+ people with intellectual and developmental disabilities to come out. There is also a handout that is more for support people, but anyone can read the article or handout. Note: this article contains a brief mention of the R-word.
  Source: Pauline Bosma – Elevatus Training
  Web: elevatustraining.com/supporting-lgbtq/

Toolkits and Resources on LGBTQ+ Community and Identity

• Pronoun Use Websites: These are websites that show you how to use different neopronouns
  • Pronoun Island: pronoun.is
  • Pronoun Dressing Room: http://www.pronouns.failedslacker.com
  • Practice with Pronouns: http://www.practicewithpronouns.com/#/?_k=mwc91p
• Movement Advancement Project (MAP) — shows your legal rights as an LGBTQ+ person in different states
  This website has lots of different maps on it. It shows you what your legal rights are as an LGBTQ+ person in different states and territories in the United States. Remember, there are some rights that you have no matter where you live in the United States. There are also other rights that depend on which state or territory you live in. The maps are not written in plain language.
  Source: Movement Advancement Project (MAP)
  Web: www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps
• LGBTQ Glossary
  This is a longer list of words related to being LGBTQ+ and what they mean. It is not written in plain language, but it has more words than Thomas Caswell’s list.
  Source: LGBTQ Commission
  Web: lgbtq.smcgov.org/lgbtq-glossary
• Coming Out as You! (Trevor Project)
  The Trevor Project is a group that helps LGBTQ+ young people. This guide can be used by LGBTQ+ people of all ages. This guide helps you make a plan for coming out to other people.
  Source: The Trevor Project
  Web: issuu.com/trevorproject/docs/coay_v07
• COMING OUT: A Handbook for LGBTQ Young People (Trevor Project)
  This is another guide by the Trevor Project. This guide can help if you are confused about your gender or sexuality. It can also help you with coming out and telling other people.
  Source: The Trevor Project
  Web: www.thetrevorproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Coming-Out-Handbook.pdf

Organizations and Groups

Hotlines.

These are different hotlines you can call as an LGBTQ+ person if you need help. Some of them are for all LGBTQ+ people. Some of them are only for LGBTQ+ people in a certain age group. The Trans Lifeline is only for transgender and non-binary people. Check the website of a hotline before you call.

• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ young people)
  Web: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help
• LGBT National Youth Hotline (ages 23 and under)
  Web: www.glbthotline.org/talkline.html
• LGBT National Hotline (all ages)
  Web: www.glbthotline.org/national-hotline.html
• SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline
  Web: www.sageusa.org/what-we-do/sage-national-lgbt-elder-hotline/
• Trans Lifeline
  Web: translifeline.org

Rainbow Support Groups for LGBTQ+ people with IDD

These are support groups that help LGBTQ+ people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. There are different Rainbow Support Groups in different states. You can find out if there is a Rainbow Support Group in your state by doing a web search for “rainbow support group [your state]”.

• Twainbow (Support for LGBTQ+ autistic people)
  Twainbow is a group that supports LGBTQ+ autistic people.
  Web: www.twainbow.org
• Prideability
  PrideAbility is a facebook group, whose mission it is to expand LGBTQIA Advocacy across New York State, for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (ID/DD)
  Web: www.facebook.com/prideability