Over the past few years many have had more care and concern for me than I could see. I wanted to believe certain things about myself but in the end, they did not prove to work out in my favor. Most of them were involved when I was not taking my medication for an extended period. No matter what those that cared about me had said to others to try to get across to me, for the longest time I did not want to believe it.

That did not happen until recently. I had started to realize that there is a great amount of damage because of not caring for myself in the way that I need to. Medication is one of those things in my mental health recovery that is needed to regulate the chemistry of my brain and keep things within my mental state regulated, thus not causing the concern of others that they would have to reach out to my treatment team.

When I would be told these things, I would want to believe that they were “ganging up” because they did not like me or that they did not like certain things that I would say about things. But that was not true. I was less credible because of my mental state. I could not be credible because of my inability to conduct myself in the way that I was expected to. Others seen their concerns and rightfully so they brought it to the attention of who needed to know. They only did it because they feared bad things happening and even though I could not see it at the time, it was what I needed to do to get back on the right track.

While it would be some time for me to realize that there were important things in my life that mattered, and all medications mattered for their very own reasons. There were also other things that mattered like adequate sleep (not too much or too little), hydration, nourishment and using the restroom. All these things matter, and they have their own way of showing their way when they need to attend, plus there are external mechanisms that are set to ensure that these things happen.

Another part of understanding the care and concern of others is realizing that the world is much better with me in it and understanding that I also need to take care of my body, that I cannot use my medication as an excuse as to why I cannot make simple changes such as my beverage and food intake. My mother recently shared with me her concerns and how she does not want to lose me from not taking care of my health. I will admit it is something that is not easy to hear, but I know that it is something that I must do better to work slowly day by day.

Overall, there is much room for improvement, but I know that I am the one behind making the proper choices and if not, there can be some consequential decisions that could have to be made if I do not do what I expect. People do not reach out or say things to start trouble, they do it because they care and have a great concern for my wellbeing. Now that I have understood it and finally been on the right track, I hope that I can finally understand the dangers of the past  situations that I have been through.