Lately, I have been better at understanding what state of regulation I am in. When I speak about regulation, I am meaning the amount of tolerance and ability that I can conduct myself and my mood. While I may have known all along that there have been things in place to help me keep my mood regulated, I have discovered why it is important to be mindful of keeping myself regulated and being aware of things that may be more challenging for me.

It is not that I have not always known the things that bothered me, I just not have had the ability to come clean about the things that I need to have addressed or may need help with because I had often thought that asking for help, especially when I wasn’t my best was some sort of failure. When in fact, it is best when I am not properly regulated to take the time I need to get back on the right track.

It can seem selfish or like a punishment when I must take time for myself because I did not care for myself previously or in the way that I need to. It may be because things are just too much and become overwhelming for me. In fact, I am learning that there have been things all along to help me be more regulated, I just never realized that is why they were put into place. Eventually through various moments of trial and error, I have found that it is necessary to care for my mental health always because you never know what challenging moment that I will endure in my path.

This happened last week at day service when my “safe” staff was off when I had intended for them to be there. In fact, two staff were off and I can honestly say that if I had not taken the steps when I needed to several days prior to get back on track over the weekend, I honestly would not have known how I would handle myself, but it was much easier to handle because I was more regulated and able to understand that everything was going to be just fine and I could carry on as I normally would instead of calling everyone out like I did in the past.

These are the little things that make things that are unknown or unpleasant easier to manage and able to remain regulated when the times are tougher for me. Not caring myself as I have not been doing for the past several years has only set me up to be in a dysregulated state, even when others do not know it. The fact that I know it is hurtful alone and that it is important to always care for my mental health because it is just like caring for any other dimension of my health, including emotional regulation and the ability to do things or must sit out when I am not my best.

Now that I understand that there are things that must be done to regulate myself, then I must do them because they are necessary for navigating the everyday milieu because I never know what I may come across in my path. Knowing how to is key. I am more able to be regulated because I can see the importance of doing so every day. Always.