After years of fighting the battles I have been fighting for my independence, I have finally come to the terms that I just need to do the things that I need to do and not fight. I know that while I have my moments it is better than ignoring what I need to do and if I just do what needs to be done, things will be better in the end.
Essentially, Summer is here. Why can’t it be like that Summer in 2005, away at school thriving off of Linkin Park’s Reanimation album? In fact nowadays anything is possible and in fact after being through the stuff I have been through the past few years, I am destined for some sort of happiness. I can honestly have a summer that is not a struggle or painful, A summer that doesn’t come with me being angry or complaining at something just because I think it deserves to be the way that I want it.
Over the past month, reality has been striking fiercely and has been showing signs that I need to be real with all facets of my mental health treatment. It may be the fact that I need to be real with what I am doing and what I am not doing. It means being honest with facts that are not gingerly or admitting that I was lying about things that I said that I was doing, because when things are starting to go right and I am doing just what I say that I am doing, things are actually pretty darn good.
Over the past month or so, I have shielded myself from being honest with myself and my mental health treatment because I got lazy about it because I liked feeling the things that eventually cause some outcomes that aren’t the greatest. I know in all honesty it is not the person that everyone wants me to be and I need to be honest with myself and think, is this good in the long run? Or am I going to do something that is going to have more drastic consequences than I am really thinking because I am not being honest about what I am doing like some pathological person,
As they say, honesty is the best policy, and me continually flirting with disaster and not being consistent and doing the right things that I need to to be well, even as simple and easy as they may be can be the elements necessary to get me out of the continuous slump that I have been in and for once feeling pretty good about myself overall.
For the last few years, I have had a flawed sense of thinking when it comes to things such as my physical and mental health, particularly in the respective areas of soda and medication. The fury came out a few weeks ago in full force from me not being aware and slowly as time continues to progress since then
But having that flawed thought had not done me any good because I was not showing the best of myself. While I like the ability of some things, it is not me at my best and I know that. Those who know me need to see the Dustin that everyone knows that can excel and be his best and even grow on to bigger and better some days. I deserve to be the person who can flourish in society by being and doing what I need to do in that regard and not being in a disregard because it is not convenient for me. It is adulting and I have deprived myself for a long time of having the life I genuinely deserve because I was reluctant in not only being honest with myself but also knowing denying what has been proven for decades to work and basing my decisions solely on flawed thoughts.
I deserve to live the life that makes me happy and well and not mask my way through the day and be the Dustin everyone knows can thrive as his genuine self. Not being honest and genuine as to whether I am properly taking care of myself is not solving the problems with my life and life can actually be better for me if I do the right thing for once.
Dustin's Dynasty 