A Journal Entry


Being autistic, it can be hard to accept or understand reality.

That I struggle with transitioning from one thing to another or that if I am distracted that it can be hard to regroup and focus back on what is keeping me regulated.

The reality is that things need attention that help me keep things in my space regulated like the room temperature and that I may need to turn on the air conditioning or the heat to not be cold or hot in the future.

The reality that I have difficulty understanding concepts of time and that losing time for one thing while I may want to do another is very frustrating and when a significant amount of time passes or is lost, I get angry about wasting time.

The reality is that life isn’t fair, things just must be for one reason or another and many times it is not my fault. That I need to adult and do the right thing, even if I may not like it or have a hard time accepting it for what it is.

While reality can be hard to accept, I know that it is always best to do the right thing even though at times I do not want to.

It means that I must have responsibility in my life, as many adults my age do and that this is just a part of life.

Being autistic does not give me an excuse to not do the things that I must do in life.

There are responsibilities in being an adult that lives independently and if I want to keep my independence, then I must do what is right, even if I may not like to do them, I am a much better person when I do the right thing, even though in the moment, I may not see it that way.

I do not need to be hard on myself, it is just the way it is and even though I may be tempted, doing so brings a whole host of more challenges, even though I may not see them in the present moment, oftentimes, the pros outweigh the cons. That is what I need to see.

I know that I am intelligent enough to understand what Is placed before me and not accepting what I need to do borders the line of defiance or the inability to be independent and that is not a line that I am willing to skirmish to be on the outside looking in.

I must face reality, for my independence counts on it.

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