As we approach the holiday season and near the end of the year, I often think of making new habits. Notice that I said habits and not resolutions, those are different! ‘
Throughout my blog, I speak of being in the loop of negative thoughts and falling into unhealthy traps over and over, yet I seek to change those things for the better. I try my best, and while better managing the medication regimen to meet my needs has helped immensely, there are still moments where I can fall into a slump of a very low self-esteem and think that there is no way out of the situation that I am in. In reality, it is the best situation that I am in and for now it is what it needs to be so I can improve myself more. Yet, I continually want to bring myself or others close to me down in that misery of pity. It really doesn’t do any good to anyone. Therefore it is one of those habits I need to make better.
In reality, I know that no matter what, I am depended, needed and valued at places like my job and day program and that abruptly leaving and not having a purpose will not be helpful or healthy to anyone. Despite the culture these days of wanting to abruptly leave everything in a state of quiet quitting just to satisfy a personal need is not helpful for me. In fact on the day I struggle the most, Sunday as I am writing this, I had to go to the dollar store and it was a struggle just to do that.
Remaining isolated only emulsifies the barriers and bad habits into making them very unhealthy habits in all realms of wellness. I acknowledge the fact that my thoughts are the driver behind my flawed, intrusive thoughts when my anxiety goes into a fight mode, as if running away from the problem will just get rid of the issue, in fact I have accepted that it will only make it worse.
I have recently realized that falling out of routine one little bit can set what may not happen for days down the pike. When this happens, it makes me angry that I did the things days prior that caused it. I say it right when it happens, when fear strikes in me and takes me down, but what about realizing this in everyday life? It can be hard to accept the actions that you take or don’t take at one interval could cause something to happen days later because of not doing the right thing throughout. Yes, things happen and I am my own worst critic, but knowing that it causes things that happen down the road should be an eye opener to stay with the happy habits and forget the bad ones.
I know that it is imperative for me to make new habits now and move forward into the new year. Additionally, my negative remarks during my parents’ visits need to stop. They do nothing but bend over backwards to help me and get what I need, oftentimes as soon as they can,yet I do nothing but complain to them about all that I perceive that is wrong. This is a bad habit.
I know that making good habits to replace the bad ones is essential to my mental health recovery in order to make things better in my life and have a better outlook, get out of those looping intrusive thoughts and falling into unhealthy traps that will prevent me from moving forward in life. Nothing will change unless I make an effort to do it.
Oftentimes, when I make an effort to add a new habit to my routine, it only sticks around maybe three days at most. I know if anything is going to change it needs to be continual and where I can mark the progress where I can see it, without that, it will not happen. I know that I have to give it the best effort possible and try the best not to give in to negative behavior that I know causes unhealthy habits.
While I only focused on habits on my mental health here, There are MANY other habits that I know need improved and in 2023, I will work toward them, little by little, I cannot set myself up to fail and must continually take care of my mental health and prevent any negative behaviors from coming coming into play. I am strong and resilient and can do anything I put my mind to, I know.
Dustin's Dynasty 