Reflections

Reflections: Robbed of Time

In the past few weeks, I have witnessed the loss of many and the point has been made to not take anything for granted because we are not guaranteed it forever. It made me realize how I do not want to be robbed of any more time of my life from not taking care of my health.

It comes not only from the loss of many but the realization that many of those are the age of my parents and their friends and that I am never guaranteed life forever with them as I may want to think or shield the thought of needing to understand. I also know that while giving myself grace for all I have endured in my life, it is also essential that I come to terms with reality and see the truth of reality of the situation that could happen at any given moment.

I am slowly realizing that my parents are not the people they once were. While their both being retired for a while has been nice, it can be hard to come to terms that they have earned it through years of hard work. They too deserve their time and do not need to oblige to every single request that I make and that I need to accept that they need to enjoy the best of their life as much as I need to develop my own life too. 

As far as I go, it means not wasting time in my life, not taking care of all my personal health needs, thus wasting time that could have been used for something worthwhile. I have spent a great deal of the past four years not being my best self, I am really realizing that I need to be more of an adult and do what is for my best once and all before my life and the lives of those close to me vanish away and become history.

I have come a long way from where I once was. It’s never about the accolades that I get because I just did what I needed to do, but having life staples that are like pillars in my life that are starting to show their decline can be hard to digest, but I know that I have to continue to do the right thing and live by example to the members that I collaborate with and interview along with those family members to let them know that there is life beyond the stage they are with their individual at that part of the journey.

There is no reason to think any differently for the life I live. It was a sense of tough love that I have had to manage immensely. I often said things out of hate that were hurtful, especially to those that I loved and I am now practicing radical acceptance and coming to terms with the fact that my loved ones did what they thought was best despite knowing the reality of things that took years or decades to hit the surface. There are some things even today that many or I for that matter will not discover about myself or my family. I love them just as equally as I know I could have had a very less desired journey if not for their steadfast advocacy and their reaching out to those adversaries that can get me out of crisis mode. I am a much better person because of it and I can never thank them enough for the things that those in my close circle have and continue to do for me.

Don’t take anything for granted, live life as if it is your last day, because no one is guaranteed to be here forever, because you may never know when it may be too late.

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