A Journal Entry

The Bed Is A Trap

The Bed Is A Trap.

It is good and bad.

It is necessary for sleep and rest.

But it can also be a place to retreat and hide.

And I have other rooms to myself.

it is where I think I can get away from my problems.

When I am in my catastrophic, all-or-nothing, flight/run away mode,

Always thinking 10 steps ahead instead of focusing on the now.

I am beginning to realize that there are things in my life I can’t control.

What I can control as much as I am able is how I react to things.

Hiding and feeling sorry for myself only makes me prone to relapse.

Causing unnecessary sleep and time slipping away underneath.

I understand that there is a difference between NEEDING to rest and CHOOSING to feel sorry for myself, but there is no reason to do so.

What I need to do is focus on the things I can control and what I can do to help me get through the day, then when it is time to go to rest, I can focus on shifting into the mode of relaxing in for what a bed is used for, sleep and rest, when I need to.

Feelings are valid, but there are healthier ways of expressing them then staying in bed and passing time doing it in an unhealthy way.

I am learning and growing every day, in my own way.

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