Four Years of Independence

Last week, I did not realize that four years ago, I got the keys to my first apartment. While I had to move to a new home later on. My personal Independence is something that I am grateful for every morning when my feet hit the floor because after having to get back on my feet, I seen how lucky I am to be independent.

I had had a stab at living on my own a few times prior but my anxiety would override my wanting to follow through with the initiative to do so. I for the longest time in many instances couldn’t imagine a life beyond living with my parents or other family. I couldn’t even see the very complex and challenging dynamic of living with my parents and the stress it caused them, Professions close to me knew this and were trying to make me see what the sweet taste of freedom would offer, but it took until I realized that if something happened to one family member, it would compromise greatly my ability to continue to live with one of them for several reasons, That is when I realized that I needed to secure my independence.

When I got my first apartment, it was a sort of a live and learn experience and I learned a lot of things, and later I had to learn that the first experience may not always be the right fit. It sometimes takes several changes to get the right fit. However, I was not taking care of my mental health needs properly and it stemmed unwanted behavior that was exhibited everywhere. Those in charge brought it to the attention of my therapist, yet I did not listen. Unfortunate events to the building beyond my control and attention combined with the pandemic caused me to vacate my first home.

Back with my parents, amidst modified lockdowns that included my mother working from home along with many challenging factors, including continuing to not take care of my mental health needs presented very challenging situations that made me realize that I needed to seek housing again. Thus I did. In the course of that I came across a newspaper ad for apartments for the local housing authority, which I had already filed an application for the community that I am in now, but the ad was for another property. Of which I was ineligible, however, within a few days the same manager contacted me about my  current home. After processing some paperwork and seeing the apartment, I accepted it and have been here a year an half. 

While not having all of my preferences met, it meets what is necessary and this home is more suited for me than the last. There have been no issues since moving here and finally a year and a half later I am starting to get back in the community as I did in the last living situation. While it is a few blocks further from town than the last home, there are some similar and different opportunities that are presented as the last. It works for me and I plan to be here as long as I can.

Finding independence is not perfect. It at times takes some tweaking to get what you need in order to thrive in the world. It may be challenging, but there is always the promise of a new day on the horizon that makes life so worth living, and for me being independent is a no-brainer in making life better for me.

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