Reflections: Pandemic Regressions and Related Trauma

It has been a long few years in the world and according to the World Health Organization (WHO), we are “far from over” in the COVID-19 Pandemic. Having to manage the complexities of that and other situations in the course of the past near four years has caused additional trauma and regression that is taking time to repair.

Next month will be four years that I have been living on my own. That does not count the nine months of 2020 that I had to vacate my first apartment because of pest and other issues and get back on my feet and start over, all while battling initial lockdowns and resurgences of the COVID-19 pandemic and not being compliant my medication regimen over most of the past four years. We could talk about these things the whole day, but the fact of the matter is the fact that I, along with many other autistics have regressed greatly in the years of the pandemic and for me the added traumatic events that I had to go through have further intensified that regression more.

Many times, I live in constant fear. We covered the actual reasons yesterday on my Adulting blog of overthinking and overreacting to things. The world has been in a world where we are fear mongered to care for ourselves or prevent things without having a positive spin on things. As such the world, in general, can be very challenging anymore, making things more cashless and automated at the convenience of the workforce. This too is another challenge. 

As things are continually changing in the world, as we know autistic individuals mostly experience difficulty with change. Some take it like a pro and take it well, some still struggle at varying degrees.Additionally, with the funds provided by government as a result of the pandemic for repairs to better the world we live in and bring it to a modern speed, there has been more planned utility outages and after having continual outages in this year alone in utilities that keep those dependent on technology

I have seen many be prepared for such events more. I  have always kept a sensory bag for this event as it can always be possible I feel, but I am seeing more individuals dependent on their devices be more prepared when notice is given. This is not only a sign of what we have came to expect and fear in the autistic world, but a sense of growth that can be better.

Since the world has begun to open more, I have been continually offered to do things and even connect with others, yet I have been so overridden my anxiety continually fearing what can go wrong or that something bad will happen from losing some of the skills that I have learned to manage properly in the years prior that it has been increasingly difficult to even get the courage to message someone to check in or go and do something new or different that may be fun once I get there and experience it.

I know that I have to get back into doing things in my community as social isolation is not the best remedy for free time. There are also things like exercise and getting back the courage of doing things that I did prior to everything crashing down years ago. I am finally getting back into a good spot and have been increasingly doing things but it isn’t always easy, I just need to fight overthinking and overreacting and go more with the flow of doing things because I will be happier in the end.

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