Adulting: Slowing The Pace

In adulthood, when we finally obtain our independence, we often want more, but sometimes that path to independence could have bumps and as a result we may need to realize that we need to work on some current needs before reaching for more dreams.

This has been the reality for me. While I have been out on my own for the better part of three years, and we want to do things that require the grounding of things, but we have to take some time to work on what is needed to better master the task ahead, it can be downright discouraging and hard to realize. But, in reality, by working on what is needed to be accomplished instead of just bruising off the need to have a plan to work on feelings and understand them better, that takes priority over the desire to advance your potential.

Having goals and dreams are nice, but when reality sets in and it is discovered that your body is not wanting you to do those things in question, then likely it is a sign that you need to take a step back and conquer what is necessary to accomplish what is necessary to master the goals you have in place.

What must be realized despite being independent for over three years, much of that time wasn’t spent in optimal wellness, some amid a global pandemic and other time under my parents’ roof while also combating challenges that many worldwide were experiencing. As such we are now realizing that in the third year of the pandemic the necessary coping skills beyond the safe space are becoming absent among autistics, and even those like myself that did return to somewhat of a new normal, some of those abilities to cope with the circumstances of life have waned away, thus grasping a need to retool in addressing the need to build necessary skills to get through the life that still isn’t built for us.

No one can change what occurred in the past few years, but it is definitely a lesson learned that it isn’t viable for maintaining mental wellness. It has caused a setback in many, not only autistics, but those with several challenges leaving their home had already been a struggle. Nonetheless, I know now that I must move forward with realizing that the damage has been done and rebuilding what is necessary is a must. 

I must also realize to reach out more when necessary for support in the ways that I can find as healthy as the situation dictates. It can feel embarrassing to need to reach out for help as the person who seems to have it all together, but sometimes everyone needs help and there is no shame in getting it when you need it. If I am the one to advocate for getting support and help, then I should reach out in the necessary forms when I need it. There can be stigma about getting the help but I know that I must fight it and be the one who makes a difference about it.

Learning that I need some more work while being grounded in others is hurtful to hear that you’re not at the place you want to be in your journey, but it is an ongoing process that can have the simplest of roadblocks that can easily be rerouted around from where we want to go. It may be longer but sometimes with being autistic we need to remember that we have been through alot of challenges in your life (at least mine) and getting fine tuned on what is necessary will pay off in the end.

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