West Yough Bride March 2022
Acceptance and Awareness, Adulting, Autism Acceptance Month, Dignity & Respect, Independence

Adulting: Accepting the Consequences of Your Behaviors

Over the decades I have heard that a perceived trait of autistic behavior is acting out inappropriate behavior to get what you want without accepting the consequences of said actions. While all autistics may have not had the ability to accept the fact that there indeed needs to be consequences for any wrong actions that complete, if not taught, it could lead to a very troubling adulthood in which can inflict gradually worse challenges if not instilled.

I have been blessed to have a great amount of support growing up in years of my life, but my parents were the one behind many of the decisions made on my behalf. They often parented in unison, something that I know that all individuals may not have the ability to have. However I was always preached that we had to have consequences for the wrong behaviors we performed. Sometimes it caused further irritation among my parents, but they stood their ground with this belief and that I had to be responsible for the actions that were not right.

When one becomes an adult, one thinks they have the right to do whatever they please. However if you are living with others, in a facility or in a place that you don’t truly own, you have responsibilities to follow and not following through with  those expectations can result in warnings or potential conflict. Acting irresponsible toward those in authority can lead to further consequences without thinking and it is too late to correct your actions, thus having to learn from your consequences.

Also not seeing that indeed you are the one behind the behaviors you perform can cause further stress and result in a chain in you not getting the support and help you truly need. It hasn’t been until recent years until I had to admit that I had to work on my behaviors and improve them for the better. I also had become better at admitting that I was responsible for the actions I created rather than it being a fault.  What I caused as a result of my behavior was that I had to be the responsible adult and make things right and work on them instead of being the one to keep running away from acting out then not taking responsibility and then addressing those with my support team. 

As an adult it is essential that you have to learn to make things right, no matter how much you may not want to. It is essential to hear how the person or what actions you caused and accept the punishment that you may receive. Continually trying to admit that you were not the problem when indeed there are proven facts that you were in the wrong will only intensify and perceive more  immaturity in your behavior and cause further consequences than what had already been in mind.

While all individuals come from all walks of life and as such their ability to comprehend the ability to accept the consequences of their behaviors, it must be understood that in the public world no one is immune to the consequences of the regulations of a establishment and failure to follow the regulations of the establishment can come with consequences such as ejection from the businesses. Acting out only will cause the potential involvement of law enforcement that may or may not be understanding of the needs of autistic individuals, thus causing further unneeded issues. The ability to follow expectations when in public should be tried to be understood to the best of the ability of the individual as to not cause further undue harm.

While I agree that myself included has more difficult days than others, it must be understood that wherever one acts out on something that results in a consequence or order being given, we must understand that it is not likely given to us out of hatred but it is often the expectation or regulation of whatever place we are under at that time, so we must to the best of our ability learn from what we may have caused and follow through with it. If we have proof that we indeed not caused such action, then you can put your advocacy skills to use while doing so in a calmful appropriate tone, while I can truly understand that you may become passionate and want to stand your ground in a situation, doing so will only worsen the situation and cause further harm. We must always be mindful of how one conducts themselves around others.

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