Adulting, Independence

Adulting: Maintaining Order

Another amazing week is on the horizon and I am all set for the week. I say that I am all set for the week because everything in my habitat is neat and orderly. It is a stereotype that autistics are all obsessively compulsive about everything. While we do have fascination on the things we do enjoy, it is likely that we do not specifically have a fascination on the things we must complete in our daily lives.

In all honest, autistic, neurodiverse or neurotypical, not everyone likes to do the chores required to maintain a home. As much as autism is a spectrum the same range can be said where our standard of cleanliness lies. One can be as much as “neat freak” all the way to chronic hoarder. Everyone has a different mindset and way they think about it. Growing up in my parents’ home, I have two very regimented parents. While I have some of their traits, I am not completely wired in the manner that they are. I don’t think of it as a regressive sort of model, although for a time, I thought it could have been. I do like things neat and orderly; it may not be a constant burst of energy to do that though. It comes in waves probably because my energy level varies from day to day depending on the activity I have completed.

I for the longest time had the hardest time accepting my own standard of cleanliness. For the longest time, I had to feel as if my space had to be spotless and without any flaw. However, it took months of therapy to understand that things don’t have to be the way they were when I grew up. Now I know that this is no excuse to have a piggish lifestyle and that routine cleaning is necessary. I do it, but probably not as frequently as what my parents do. I also needed reassurance that I was not a bad person for having this belief system. Yes, I understand the need to clean, but just as everyone’s space is different, so is the need to clean that space to what is an acceptable standard.

Now, in no way am I bashing my parents. I love them very dearly and I know they love they share for me is mutual. It is just that one has to meet their level of expectations when setting standards for themselves. Yes, I have common sense. Yes, I know my home must be maintained in a certain order. I keep a clean home by many people’s standard. It is just that growing up, I was taught expectations that were too much for my brain to handle. It does not make me flawed. It just means that I have to have a different understanding of how I need to adapt my necessary regimens of order, among other things to meet my needs and accomplish the goal that is necessary of maintaining a clean space.

While it may not seem as the most amusing activities to do in life, I do understand it is indeed a necessary activity to maintain my independence. I understand that I must be the responsible adult and do what is necessary to maintain a standard of cleanliness and livability. One must learn how to make it an activity that they can enjoy and take pride in once it is completed. I guess that Is what you would say that I do enjoy. There becomes a point I realize that I know I must maintain my space and/or cleanliness and that I must just barrel down and do it. That is how autism likely works. We have to make it something we can get used to. All the years growing up, it was brought in my eyes as something that was painful and slavery tactics. Being independent has taught me that it I need to want to do things like shower, put on care products like deodorant and do self-care things like shave and take care of my teeth. The same lies in the laundering of my clothes, I should want to have clean clothes and a made bed each and every day. It was simply because in the manner I was taught to do these things in the years I was growing up I have found it to be a flawed way of thinking at the time, but now I want to take pride in maintaining my home to a livable condition and have the things I wear and use in a condition that I can be proud of keeping. It is all how you see the importance of taking care and keeping things in order. If you are taught that you want to do it, you will do it. If you are taught to do it and you don’t like to do it or you struggle in maintaining the necessary standard, then you should seek the proper help to aid you in doing the essential tasks in life to maintain the level of living you want.

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